Divine Interventioins in the Every Day Things...

Have you ever felt like you needed to do something specific, but you really didn't know why exacxtly?...Well, that happend to me this morning! Last night, I had wrestled with God! I was just so worn out, and He reminded me that I need not rely on my own strength, becauase that was not going to last me! He spoke sweet words of comfort and encouragement over my heart, and gave me such complete and utter rest! I slept SO well last night, not even waking up once (which is a BIG DEAL, because it was the first night I have done that since I have been gone!)!!! I woke up with a Heavenly alarm (my alarm on my phone had not been set, but God woke me up one minute past the time I had planned to get up!)! I got ready, and just felt like I needed to have my quiet time in the "common area", instead of on my bed, as I normally do!...It seemed odd to me, but I responded and did so! I got to read some Psalms, journal and pray for so long, because God had gotten me up on time, and I didn't fight getting up (like I am very prone to do)!!! I was still waking up a little, so after reading Psalm 80, I closed my eyes just to rest for a second, and I heard someone walk by the doorway, so I opened my eyes, and just as I closed my Bible, the man who does our laundry walked in! I was a little caught off guard, because he moves kind of quick, but he said to me, "Oh, so you like to study the Bible?), and I said, "Oh yes very much!" Then, he went on to tell me all about how he likes to study the Bible too, but his father is a Muslim (and he said, time and time again that he was too, which I found interesting ), so he has to hide his Bible in his sheets, and when his dad sees it, he gets mad. But, this man liked to read it!...He was a little difficult to understand, but I could see that he really liked the God of the Bible aand He liked Jesus too, but he was torn between culture and the Christ!

In this book I am reading, "The Christ of the Indian Road", it talks a lot about the religiosity of India. The author states, "The Indian people are an intensely religious people, and when the wealth of this spiritual capacity is placed on the disposal of Jesus, the product will be beautiful indeed"! He also spoke of how India is really good at accepting new things, but they lack the ability to get rid of the old. I saw this so evident in the life of this man! He wanted so badly to believe the God of the Bible, but he was caught up in tradition, and just wanted to add Gos's goodness to it! We had a nice short little conversation, and then he let me pray for him!

I went on to breakfast, and from there I traveled with LOREA (not Lorena...that's a different Mexican) to Kalighat! On the bus, I met another man named, Jaime, from Spain! He told me I need to go visit Spain next year, because of an event called "World Youth Day!" It sounds pretty exciting! When I arrived, I was late again to help with wound care, and they apparently assign people, so I just went to help clean mats, and then make beds and put the mats on them! it was so cute how some of the older sickly women were trying to help, but they were so weak, that they would really just pat the bed! I have found also that clapping is a great universal way to say good job to these women! After bed making, I went and said hello to Krishna! I put my hands on her face and told her that she was looking beautiful this morning, and she made eye contact! She actually seemed to improve a little more today too!!!...no walking yet, but eye contact was huge for me! Then, we gave out medications! some of the women just talk and talk to you, and I just nod and say, "Oh yes!" One precious older woman named, Asha was playing jokes on me! She took her first pill and threw the other two on the floor. I went and picked them up and gave them back to her (I know that sounds gross, but they can't waste here, and they clean the floors every day). She took the next one, showed it to e, and then tried to be sneaky while taking the water to slip the other one under her legs. Then, I told her that I saw that and reached under her legs, and then she pushed it farther and put her hands up, like "I don't know where it went"! So, I just lifted her legs up all the way, and grabbed the pill, and put it back in her hand! She just laughed and laughed and shook her finger at me! That was entertaining! Then, I also gave some medications to a woman there named Sodra! She is missing an ear, but she is SOOOOO beautiful! She has the most precious smile, and I saw her later counting to 30 in English with another volunteer!! She prayed before she took her medications and and kissed my hands!

After medications, I went by a woman and she grabbed my hands and said, "Pray"! I wasn't sure if I understood her so I said, "What?", and she said again, "Pray"! So, I started to pray, and a sister came up in the middle of my prayer and tapped my shoulder giving me lotion to put on her! She has scabies. So, I finished my prayer, and then put the lotion on! then, I put some more lotion on some other woman, and just sat by Laila again! She seemed to be even more cuddly today, laying her head on my shoulder, and pulling my legs closer, then at one point, it was like she was trying to rock me! It made me think of my Granny who used to hae her "babies" that she would take care of!

We had our tea break, and one of the sisters came over with a girl from japan who I had told about me being a nurse and the sister said, "You a nurse? You help with wound care tomorrow and the next day?" I GLADLY accepted!!! I had been able to hold a woman's hand and told her to sqeeze it when she was getting her quite infected wound cleaned out! She was sooo sweet...and quite strong, I might add!!! :) Anyways, after the break, we went to help with lunch, and then I did dishes again! I like the system they have set up! ...I'll try and take a picture of it!

So, after dishes, we left! I am realizing that the more I am there, the more I am getting to know the patients and it is getting easier to talk to them even though we have no idead what the other is saying! In most situations, I would feel silly, but the women here will just carry on a conversation with you and gladly just accept your nods and your input, even if it doen not make sense! I love it!!! :)

I went to lunch with the Spaniards and Takku at Blue Sky again, and the waiters there know me now and call me "Morgan"! Sammy is my favorite! He makes jokes with me all the time, just laughing and smiling, thinking he is SO funny!! After lunch, I headed here to the Web, because once again, all I did was pray and trust the LORD to move to use me, to move me out of the way and for His heart to shine through, and touch and comfort the people whom He created and loves, and He did! My sweet Jesus is blessing ME here far more than I feel He is even using me to bless those around me! What a great God we serve! I can't say it enough!!!!! Two more days at Kalighat, and then I am off to my next destination! Crazy to believe that time has gone so fast!! May I still stay focused, with an undivided heart, and continue to complete with faith and excellency the tasks the LORD places before me! :)

P.S. Sorry for all of the grammatical and spelling errors in these blogs! I don't have time here to read back through! :)

Today was yet another wonderful day!! It went a lot faster than expected, but probably just because it was FULL! I started off with volunteer breakfast, then catching the bus to Kalighat (this time it was stopped COMPLETELY when I got on! Haha!)! From there, I walked in talking to another new friend from Japan (I don't recall her name...I'll have to get that tomorrow)! She was a Freshman nursing student, which gave us something to talk about for that short 5 min walk. Then, when we got there, I realized that the wound care teams were already working on the patients, so I was told to go help with the laundry! We rinsed and wrung out clothes for a good hour. It was there I met two new friends named Paula (from Spain) and Lorena (from Mexico). Lorena's English was great, so I found it easy to converse with her, of course, using the same questions I have asked and answered for the past 3 weeks. She is a wonderful girl, though!

After laundry, we helped with exercise, and I was handed the crutches for Krishna! I headed over to her bed, and asked her if she was ready to walk today. She just stared right past me. Another woman from Spain came to help me, which was great, because I was really going to need it! I got her off her bed, and she actually HELPED us get her to the ledge this time, which was an improvement from the other day! Then, at this point she only helped a little more to get on the crutches, but one of the sisters came over again to help. She wasn't walking, but I saw an improvement, so I was telling her good job! The sisters and the workers seem to be so much more harsh with her. It saddens me! I realized that she has doll's eyes too, which I don't remember all that much about it, but I know it has to do with some sort of brain damage/nerve damage (which she has a head injury, and I wonder if that has something to do with it?) She also probably has depression, being in the state she is! I see a lot of classic signs in her!...anyways, I helped as much as I could, but then, they told me to just go put lotion on some of the patients and give them massages and to just leave her. I talked to her for a little bit longer, and then lotioned some patients!

Next, it was tea time, so I went up and saw a poster on the wall with all the Missionaries of Charity listed throughout the world! There are somewhere around 450 MOC Houses and the place that has the most after India is North America! How CRAZY is that?!?!...Then, I met another woman whose name I never got. She is from France, but she has been in Tahiti for about 5 years, practicing as a general doctor! I mentioned that I just finished nursing school and asked her if I could help out with wound care tomorrow, and she said she would be glad to have the help!! I am quite excited about that!!

After the break, they had a mass for the volunteers, then we served lunch, and I decided to help clean the dishes after. Next, I said my goodbyes to the patients and told them I would be back tomorrow, then headed out with Lorena and Bea (another friend from Spain) to go to lunch! Afterward, Lorena needed to go with the rest of the Mexicans, so I was left to find my way home on my own, but I had remembered Ciara saying that if you are on Park Street, just pick a street and walk straight and you will find your way to the street of the hotel. So, I did! NOTHING looked familiar, but I just kept walking, like I knew where I was going, with a purpose, and making little eye contact! About 15 minutes later, I landed on the right street, and it was just a block down to the hotel! I felt quite accomplished after that! :)

I journaled some, because with my days being so busy, I have not been able to as much! Then, I took a short nap, and a new Indian girl came in to stay in our room!....

So, I am starting to understand what my friend, Danielle said about how it's fun to meet people, but sometimes you just want to be around someone you know, because then you don't feel like you have to explain yourself every time you talk and try to MAKE conversation happen! Don't get me wrong, ALL the people I have met have been incredible, and I am SO thankful for them, but I am READY to see DANIELLE...and then my family, boyfriend and friends!! :)

God is still continuing to move here, not in ways that seem huge, but like Mother Teresa said (and there is a sign in Kalighat that says this)"It is not how much we do, but how much love we put in the doing that counts"...I don't know if I put this in my last blog or not, but even if I did, it still rings true! I am praying for the LORD's love to overflow from my heart into the hearts of the least! I am praying for His light to shine forth, so much so, that they can no longer see MY face, MY hands, MY feet, but ONLY the face, hands, and feet of Christ! I am praying that the words that proceed from my mouth are the words of God Himself, speaking to their very deepest needs! Please pray with me! I want nothing more and nothing LESS than for our GREAT God to be glorified right here in the heart of Calcutta! May I continue on with His strength, running and not growing weary, renewed by His mercies every single day!

A cold drink of water....

Tossing and turning in my bed last night for about 2 hours resulted in me sitting straight up in my bed and saying, "What, God?! Why can't I sleep right now?"...He just said, "Listen"...then, after a time, I just began praying for my journey to Kalighat today! After about 30 minutes, I finally fell asleep, but was off and on all night! Then, I woke up and met with the other volunteers at breakfast! I didn't really know anyone going to Kalighat that was around me, but I saw some Japanese people holding a sign, so I walked over to them and became quick friends with Takku and Atushi! They spoke English pretty well! I have found that one of the joys of this whole trip has been not only getting to learn about the different culture of India but of the cultures of all the foreign people I keep meeting! So far, I have met people from Scotland, Australia, New Zealand, England, Poland, Ireland, Japan, Mexico, Spain, France, Germany, and India (duh! :) )!

Well, shortly after introducing myself to the boys, we began to follow these girls who knew where to go! We walked to the bus stop, and when our bus came, we walked toward it! I soon came to realize, that cars are just always on the move here, so as the bus began to move ahead, I had to jump on real quick...they don't like to wait, I guess! We had about a 20 minute bus ride, and then a 5 minute walk, arriving at Kalighat! It was COMPLETELY different than I expected! It was just a whole lot cleaner (in terms of Calcutta)! The men and women are separated on different sides, the simplest of beds on two levels, lined up pretty much side to side!....a quaint little place! I thought there might be a little more guidance to the volunteers, but they basically showed us where to wash our hands, and get our aprons, gloves and masks, then simply said, "Just go help!"...so, I jumped right in on the female side! They had this whole system down! I filled some cups with water, helped give medications out, sat and held an elderly lady named Laila for about an hour (my back was killing me after, because she would not let me shift positions), and she was so precious! She was wanting me to sit and hold her, like a child and she rocked back and forth from time to time! then we walked a few patients, and put lotion on their arms and legs and gave them massages!...just little odds and ends! I am hoping to be able to help with wound care tomorrow, being a nurse and all, that really interests me!! :)

At 10:30, there was a tea break for the volunteers while lunch was being prepared for the patients, and we all went up to the roof, and I got SUPER excited, because on our last day, we can take pictures (inside and out), and the view of the streets is just INCREDIBLE from the roof, so get ready!!! :) After tea (which once again, HOT tea on a HOT day, but apparently, it helps you to sweat less, because your insides are hot...makes sense!! ), we helped serve lunch and then clean up after!!

There was one woman there named Krishna, and she was just a sad sort of woman. A hefty middle-aged amputee, who just sat there and stared straight ahead of her with no motivation to move or do anything! She seemed like she just wanted to be left alone and just to die! I kept finding myself praying for her, over and over!

I have found that none, so far, speak English, but when Christ talked about serving the least of these, he always mentioned actions...cold drink of water, clothing their nakedness, visiting them when they are sick/in prison, giving them food, etc...we are getting to serve Jesus through caring for the least of these, and what glory God is receiving! I just love working with these people too, because they all have such great hearts...not to mention, most are traveling alone, so they love to talk and get to know you!!

After the morning shift, Marjorie, Ciara and I decided to go to the Mother Teresa film, but we had to get the tickets from a friend named, Joan first. When we arrived at her house, she offered us tea, so we gladly accepted! She has been here for 15 years, and she works as a "paramedic". The healthcare is A WHOLE LOT different in Calcutta than it is in America!! She was telling us of the hospital situations and how it is just better to try and get well on the streets than it would be to go to the hospital! They are dirty, they cheat you on money, and they seem to not really CARE for you that much. Also, some kids are taken into slavery...it is just bad! I would say that I want to see it, but I don't know if I could handle it! She was SUCH a kind-hearted woman, though, and she is doing what she can to serve Jesus here and try to make a difference!

After tea, we went to the film, but it ended up being moved to another location, so we were all crammed in a tiny bus, and the boys were VERY respectful and gave us ladies their chairs, which was nice to see! Then, they said that there were too many people on the bus and it would be unsafe to drive, so they made us get off and said they would arrange for "private transportation"...which just meant a car, driven by one of the workers at the theater! Haha! So, when we finally made it to the auditorium, we had missed about 30 minutes of the film, but it was still pretty awesome the part we did get to see! Mother Teresa TRULY lived her life, fully for the LORD! She gave every little piece of herself to Him, and it was just obvious the type of impact Christ had through her, because it showed her funeral and all the different leaders of the world who attended! It was INCREDIBLE!! Christ used this lowly woman with a heart to love Him above all to change the world! How great is that?!?!!?!

Anyways, then we just caught a taxi back, and I am about to go to dinner with the girls! All in all, today was just sort of a time to get oriented with things at Kalighat, but I am hoping to be more involved on my next 4 days there!!! Please pray for my health and for the beautiful people I am privileged to be able to care for in their last moment of life!

A Change of Heart, A Change of Clothes...

Arriving in Kolkata, my heart was racing with excitement, with anticipation of what was going to happen next, how in the WORLD I was going to make it to the Missionaries of Charity, and probably also from the caffeine in the hot tea I had had on the plane! Also, it was QUITE a bit hotter in Kolkata then it was in Bangalore, so now I was starting to see what people meant by India being hot! I found a prepaid taxi place, which I thought would be easier to deal with, since there are so many taxi drivers looking for white people to rip off outside! I didn't get much direction from them as to what I needed to do after I walked outside, so I just winged it! I brought all my bags out the exit and walked down the line of people holding signs until a short, but persistent man asked me for my paper, and then grabbed it and my bags and motioned me to follow him. I did, because I saw the line of yellow taxis he was leading me to. I was just praying that God would get me there safely! When my bags were loaded in the taxi, he asked for a tip, because apparently he was not with the taxi company, he just helped people get their baggage to the taxi (which I could have done myself), but since I had fallen for it, and they HAD helped me, I paid them a tip, and then the driver came over, asked for my slip and the address. I showed him (because I had written it down), and he didn't know where it was! He had to run inside and ask, but then he came back, seeming pretty confident. While he was inside, an old woman approached my car and asked for money (my first experience with beggars here), and I gave her just a little, but she didn't seem satisfied, so I was just praying the driver came back, because I knew if he didn't I might give away all I had! The drive over was interesting, and we went from the "nice" city to the slums in all around 35-40 minutes! I took a short video of the traffic and of the streets, so I will hopefully be able to upload them at some point!!!...

When I arrived at the Mother Home, I got out of the taxi and there was a little girl there name Nayha there to meet me! She was wearing a school outfit, so I thought she was just part of the orphanage, but she had a woman with her, so I thought they might be mother and daughter. They took my bags up to the front door of the Mother Hoe, but I was about an hour and a half early for my "meeting" with Sister Mercy Maria, so they told me to go settle in my hotel and then come back. Well, I did not have reservations, because that was something I was hoping to discuss with the Sister. But, the little girl, Nayha suggested the BMS, and said she would take me there! What a little blessing! Her and the woman took my stuff down the street about 3 blocks to this hotel! When we got there, I paid the little girl some money, because they had been so kind to help me! I was just so grateful! They did not have many rooms available, but they said I could stay in the "dorm style" room, so I took it, not even knowing price or anythign about this place. I just wanted to feel settled, though! They took me to this room, and when i walked in there was 8 twin beds all pretty close, and two bathrooms! I was PLEASED to be there, because there were fans too! They told me that their check in lady was out to lunch but would come get me checked in soon! I sat down, took a deep breath, and then tried to just nap a little before I was to meet with the sister!

About an hour later, the woman showed up and had me come sign in. I saw above my name there was a girl who had just signed in from Kansas who was staying there as well, but I didn't know she was in my room too! I thought I was alone! Then, the woman told me of all the things the hotel offered, and I just began to feel SO much better! I also had just said to God earlier in my room, "LORD, I don't even know where I am going to get food or clean water to drink!"...and as she was talking, she said that the hotel offered lunch and dinner at a small extra price, and al the clean drinking water that I could have! Blessing!!!...When I went back to the room, I realized a poster on the wall with Romans 5:1 written out on it! then there was also an informational book for Christians on Islam, so I knew the pace I was staying in was good!!

I then walked outside to go to the Mother Hoe again to meet Sister Mercy maria, and the little girl and the woman were standing there! They wanted me to go buy milk for their little babies...long story short, I found out that they were professional beggars and the only reason they help white people is to say, we helped, not \\w you pay! The crazy thing is, they don't ask for money, they ask for food or milk...I felt so bad, but I had to go to the meeting, so they said they would wait! Oh gosh! I did not prepare myself for the sights of the poor on the street. I mean, I don't think you really can prepare yourself fully for this! It was just so different and more difficult than my little compassionate heart could handle!

I walked in the Mother House and realized there was some sort of celebration going on, and non one really seemed to be helpful at all. Everyone I asked said they didn't know or they didn't really seem interested in helping me find Sister Mercy Maria. One kind sister tried to give me direction, but apparently there was no registration that day, so I ended up watching the little puppet show that the sisters put on for the children about the life of Mother Teresa, because the next day (August 26) would have been Mother Teresa's 100th birthday. I don't know what it is about me traveling at the times of all these holidays and celebrations! I need to start checking that out before I go! Anyways, it was so cute, and the children loved it! After, I walked out, headed for the hotel and didn't see Nayha or the woman, so I tried to go fast. As I was about halfway there, though, I saw them walking 2 other white girls, and when they saw me, you could tell that they knew I had figured out their little scheme. So, I began walking a little faster, but another little girl had come up to me asking for milk, and I tried to refuse, but then the woman came back and caught up with me. They were both asking for milk, so I ended up caving and buying two milks, one for each, but the woman took both! I felt so bad, but an Indian man looked at me, and just signaled for me to just go. I have never seen such SAD faces in my life! They have definitely been practicing them for a while! I learned later that some of these children have even dropped out of school to become professional beggars, because it makes better money! How SAD!!...anyways, I turned around, and started to tear up, but I was determined to get to my hotel before i started to cry! A little boy approached me, but I just said, "No, sorry, no", and at that moment, my dad called, and I answered but said I couldn't talk at the moment (little did I know, the reason he was calling was because y text saying I had made it safe to Kolkata did not get through-and ALL of my texts have gone through so far- so he wanted to make sure I had gotten there alright! Coincidence, I think NOT!!!). I got back to my hotel and just let it all go! I was bawling my eyes out...and at that moment, I felt just so alone! I called my dad back though, when I had regained composure, and talked for a little, cried a little, but it was a short, yet encouraging conversation and exactly what the LORD had planned. Then, he called my mom, who texted Steven, who texted me (I'm starting to see this family chain thing going on a lot, but I love it! Hahaha! :) ) Steven was able to call me and talk for a little while, and it was so good for my heart to hear his voice! He knew exactly what to say, and God just gave me so much comfort in reminding me that I was NOT AT ALL alone! Steven even made me laugh, which was just what I needed! Then, I just sat in the room, reading, praying, writing! I found comfort in knowing too, that my dad had experienced something similar and my mom had been up all night praying for me! At around 8:30, my roommate came in!

Her name is Marjorie, and she is SUCH a blessing and joy from the LORD! She is a lot like me, just graduated and all, only she is here for 3 months!! We talked about ourselves and just things until 11PM that night! Also, by this point I had come to realize that God had planned for me to get to this hotel, for me to meet Marjorie, and for the next day to e a day of rest!

I woke up the next morning, having slept so well in peace! I had breakfast, and met two lovely English girls named Hannah and Ruth! They were both volunteering at another place, but they were so fun to talk to and get to know! I am actually going to dinner with them in a few minutes, so I need to hurry! Then, we went to mass at 10, and it had been a while since I had been to a proper mass! It was just insane with hoe many people were there, because of Mother Teresa's birthday and all! There were news crews and photographers all over the place! After mass, Marjorie and I met up with a girl named Ciara (pronounced Key-ah-ruh). She is from Ireland and had been there 3 years ago for a year, so she knew the area and was going to take us around the city to do some shopping and just have a relaxing day! We had lunch, then went for coffee at a place much like Starbucks(I QUITE enjoyed that!!)! Then, I bought some Indian pants, that are SOO much lighter than the skirts I brought to wear, and are so much cooler to wear in this weather! Then, we talked about how we are going to celebrate my birthday (with getting a Henna tattoo!!!...and they want me to pierce my nose too, which I am saying no, but they already have it set in their minds-please pray that I wont have to! Haha! :) ). Next we walked to Elliott Park (aka "Couple's Park), and it was hard seeing all the couples, because it made me miss Steven! But, then we went to the Victorian Memorial and rested for a bit on the grass. Once we got back to the hotel, I was able to freshen up, then we went to get some chicken egg rolls on the street! They are literally, chicken and egg, with green peppers and onions, wrapped up in a a chapatti(like a tortilla). It was SO good! I got mine spicy! Then, we headed in for bed! I was INCREDIBLY grateful for Ciara, because she just seemed to know so much about how to deal with beggars, and just street smart skills! I really have enjoyed her, AND her Irish accent!!! :)

This morning, I woke up, went to breakfast! There I met a sweet woman named, Kelly who was from CA, and she just happened to be traveling the world for the next 6 months and would be leaving Kolkata on next Saturday to go to PHNOM PENH, CAMBODIA!! Are you kidding me?!?!...She would be there at the same time as me, and did not have a place to stay, so I am going to see if Dani will have anywhere to suggest! How fun, though! Then, I got to read a little, take a little nap, and write in the new journal I just got! It came just in time, because I had just finished my second here! Then, at 1, Ciara came for us to get lunch, we had Dolsa on the street, at one of her favorite vendors, then, grabbed some fruit and milk to go! We went back to her little hotel and sat outside in the heat and drank hot coffee while eating fruit! It was just wonderful! At 3 ,we went and had orientaion/registration.

I had originally thought I wanted to work with the kids in the orphanage, but when I was going through the descriptions of the different places, I just lit up when I came to "Kalighat" (the Home for the Destitute and Dying)! It is the original house that Mother Teresa started! It is basically a place where people go to die! Our guide, named Will Conquer, came over and asked where I wanted to go, and I told him, Kalighat! He said that is where he was volunteering and stated that it is probably the hardest house to go to, but that it was just so worth it, especially if I was only going to be there for a week. He talked about how people come, dying of diseases or malnutrition and just have such looks of distraught on their little faces, because they do not know what is going to happen to them after they die! They have NO HOPE!! Then, Will spoke of how they just seem to gain joy and peace when we get to tell them about the salvation that Jesus offers!!!! He stated it will drain you and it is stressful at times, but the reward is so FAR greater!

I CANNOT WAIT to be drained forteh glory of Jesus! THIS is why He had me wake up a while back and pray for my journey! THIS is why He got me here and did have me register yet! THIS is why I had an extra day and a half to pray and rest! He was preparing the way for me to go serve him among the dying and destitute! I know this will be challenging, I know my little heart is just going to break for these people who are suffering, but I literally get to be a light in the darkness, share the sweetness of my LORD, and bring hope to the hopeless! Eph. 6:19 is my prayer, once again, and for always!!! I am SO thankful for this opportunity to serve! Please pray for these next few days! God is going to provide more than I can imagine, I am sure!

Sorry this was so long, but once again, God is just working so clearly, daily, and I cannot help but share and give glory to His name!!! :)

In You...

I was not planning on writing a blog today, because when I got to the library earlier today, I was just so unmotivated to write for some reason...I know, must be a shocker, that I can be unmotivated to write...but it happens...I don't really know what it was...tiredness, missing people back home, worrying, I'm not sure. But, what I do know is I left the library feeling just sorta bad. I can't really describe it. So, I went back to the guesthouse and decided that I needed to pray about my attitude and this odd "gloom" that had sort of clouded over me. I knew I needed some rest, so I laid my head on my pillow, began praying to my LORD, and He just confirmed what I was doing, "Rest. I will take care of everything!" So, I turned on some Shane and Shane (to block out the construction right outside my screen window) and fell fast asleep! I had planned on calling my little friend Joel to take me shopping after he got out of schol at 4, so I set my alarm for 3:45. At 3:44, I woke up, and the words playing to one of my favorite Shane and Shanes played assuringly in my ear,

"In You
I find my rest
In You
I find my death
In You
I find my all and my emptiness
Somehow it all makes sense
In You"

Wow!! Then, the LORD said, "Get up! Pray for your journey." I'm still not exactly sure what journey He is referring to, but I got up and prayed, nonetheless. I knew that I needed to come and write in here what I was meaning to say earlier, so I headed to the library (and I also do not think I am going to go shopping today. Maybe tomorrow). I'm not sure about the internet availability in Calcutta, and I am unsure if I will be able to write tomorrow, depending on when the Community Health Team makes it back from the village, so I knew this might be my last opportunity for a while.

There was a new girl who came to BBH just yesterday. Her name is Liz, and she just finished Med School in Australia (She is from New Zealand). We had breakfast this morning togeher, and I was praying in my journal this morning for her, and I said something along the lines of, "LORD, I pray that you intertwine her path with someone here who will be able to share the gospel with her." Throughout my conversation with her this morning, I began to think that she might not know te gospel at all. But right then, as I wrote that, God said, "You. You still have 2 more days here, and I am choosing you." I was praying for SOMEONE ELSE, but I have learned that when we pray for something, God is going to answer how HE wants! I am going to have dinner with her tonight at the guest house, and I think that is when I am going to share with her. Crazy thing is, she is sitting right next to me at the computers as I type! Hahaha! For some reason, I still get nervous to share sometimes. I'm still human, you know. But, the crazy thing about that is, I SHOULD be OVERJOYED with sharing about my Jesus and what He has done for me and all of humanity! He offers SUCH a gift that I have been blessed to receive, and I should want to share it with everyone I meet!! So, I think more than anything, I worry about how I will bring it up, but I know that God has very easily provided a way for me in the past, He provided a way for me to get to INDIA, so He is MORE than capable to do this! The main reason I share this with y'all now, too, is for accountability. So, be praying for my conversation with her tonight (dinner is at 6, which is 7:30AM Texas time), but if you are not awake, pray that God continues to work and move in her heart! :)

Also, I just received an email back from Kativa (the woman I met on the plane from Frankfurt to Bangalore), and she wanted me to come visit her on Weds, but that is when I leave for Calcutta, so I just told her that I was leaving that day, but I am hoping that our paths cross some other time in the future and hoped to stay in contact with her! So, you can be praying for her too!!

Thank you all for praying! I am hoping to be able to find someway to write in Calcutta, but if not, then I will just journal really well, and then update when I get to Cambodia!

Forgetfulness of God's Faithfulness can lead to disobedience

The title of this blog was the title of the sermon I received this morning from the Pastor. It was EXACTLY what God had intended for my heart to hear. I just got to talk for but a moment with Steven this morning, and it was SO wonderful, but still SO difficult to hear his voice, and not get to be near him. After talking though, I had one of the best times with Jesus I have had yet, here in Bangalore. I don't know truly what it is, but everytime I get excited about going home to see him, God says to me, "Surrender him to me. Surrender all." It is just so difficult everytime! I think it is because when I am so focused on home, and the possibilities I have there, I am not able to fully commit myself to the work I have before me.

God prepared me before I left for India to die...Now, that might sound morbid, but only He truly knows what is ahead, and I think He was saying to me, "If you are going to be able to handle and walk in obedience to all I have called you to on this mission, you are going to have to be SO surrendered to Me that you would be willing to die for My name." I don't know truly if He is speaking of dying physically. I have had to surrender all claims to my life here on earth to Him, but I think He is more so talking about DYING TO MYSELF.

After talking to Steven this morning, though, I began thinking, "What if I really did never set foot back in the States, because God called me home before then?" Then, my heart turned to Steven and my family. I prayed that if God would call me to such a task that He would have to PROMISE to take care of them all!!...Then, I knew instantly the voice of my sweet Savior when He said to me in that moment of grief, "Do you not remember all the times I have proved faithful in your life so far?!? Do you not think that I would be able to comfort them and take care of them? Don't you know that if I was taking you home, it would only be at the time when it would create most glory for Me?!?" iam brought to one of my favorite Psalms...It is when David is struggling with sorrow in his heart, but then at the end of it he states with certainty, "But I trust in Your unfailing love; my heart rejoiuces in Your salvation. I will sing to the LORD, for He has ben good to me." Psalm 13:5-6 So, once again, I cried out to Him, saying that I surrendered all, knowing that He is better than any such person or anything that He has blessedly ALLOWED in my life. These things that He has given me, are "on loan to me", like my mom says, to bring Him glory! My enjoyment and cherishment (I think I made that word up) of them can most CERTAINLY bring Him glory, but only when they are in their proper place, submitted to the Father!...

Wow,....talk about heavy stuff!!!...I hope this does not bring any discouragement to anyone, because more than anything, I want it to be an encouragement that Jesus is more than enough!! He is literally stripping me of EVERYTHING while I am here! Not physically, because these wonderful people are still in my life (THANK THE LORD), but He is bringing me to the place, where I know that He is better, He is worth living for, dying for, better than my words can even describe!! My prayer is that God will strip all of you in the same way, even if you ARE in America!

So, going to church this morning and hearing about how forgetfulness of God's faithfulness can lead to disobedience was just another reminder not to forget. The reading was out of Deut. 8, and oh what a blessing it was to hear of the LORD's faithfulness, and hear Him speaking over me, "I have been faithful, and will always be! Trust Me! I have gone before you, I WILL lead and guide you!"

Then, after church, I ended up meeting a wonderful woman who might be able to help me advance my career!! She was a nurse and talked to me about working and her journey to Bangalore when she was only a nursing student. She is so wise, and just a light to be around. I had met her kids the Sunday before. Then, they invited me to go to lunch with them, and our conversation about life and nursing only continued! I think her son is going to take me to the shops tomorrow (He's 10, so you don't have to worry about him trying to steal my heart, Steven! :) )! I am SO excited!! God says He will provide, and He does!! What a glorious God we serve! I know I keep saying that over and over, but the angels in Heaven, who are seeing God face to face keep saying over and over "Holy Holy Holy is the LORD God Almighty..." and that never gets old, so I don't think our praise of Him ever could get old either!...

I pray, church, that we NEVER forget the faithfulness of God, but rather it would SPUR us on to love and good deeds!

Prayer-FULL days...

After my shift on Thursday, I just heard the LORD saying to me, "Come spend time with me". I still had a little over two hours until my dinner was going to be ready, and it was such a beautiful day, so I decided to go get my journal and my Bible, and go sit on the swings in the little kid playground. I love to swing! Obviously, I am still a little kid at heart! I was the only one there, so I just swang and watched. Just like my mom, I am SUCH a people watcher! I prayed for people as they walked by, and I was just relaxing, talking to God. I think He knew that I was needing some time to just sit back and be filled up again! After swinging for a while, I decided sitting on the ant-infested benches would not be the best idea, so I got up and walked around the grounds of the hospital. I ran into Jincy (the nurse I had followed one day in the Private Ward) and Mark (my driver from the airport to the guest House). He told me he was looking forward to our drive together on Weds., since he is going to be the one to take me to the airport! After walking a while, I sat down at an empty table at the canteen (a place where staff and families can come and eat). I just read some Psalms and wrote in my journal, then headed back to my guest house, being refreshed by some much needed time with the LORD.

Yesterday (Friday...it is getting harder and harder to keep track of days here!), I was supposed to start prayer rounds with Ating, one of the pastoral care members, at 9, but they ended up having to sit in on a presentation, so I went back to the library until 10:00. I met her at the chapel, we got our tracks, prayed for our day, and then headed out. We went all over the hospital, because apparently, she had certain assigned patients. We started off in the Dialysis unit with a man named something I could not pronounce. He got a laugh out of my attempts, but realized I couldn't say it right, so he let me call him Armin for short. After hearing that he had been on dialysis for 1 yr. 3 mos, and that he had two sons, Ating said to me, "Okay, you pray for him." Then, bowed her head. She had me pray for the next patient too, and THEN she looked at me and said, "It's okay that I'm asking you to pray, right?" I just laughed and told her of course. The next patient we visited awas a young girl named Rajma. She had been hit by a car, and a patient I had seen sparingly on the first day I was in the private ward, so she and her family recognized me (Also I forget, it doesn't take much to recognize me here, even if you have only seen me once! Haha!). Ating asked her about her relationship with God and she said she prayed and went to church. I have found that the majority of people I have talked to in India are Catholic and very "spiritual". They go to church and pray a lot, but it is so sad to see in their hearts that they have no idea WHO it is they are truly praying to. It is an empty religious life they are leading. The tracks that Ating had given me were not even about the gospel. They were about seeking God when you are sick, but I luckily had some left from contacts with Cru in my purse, so I decided to give her one to read after we had prayed for her. The next few patients were the same, Catholic, but no true relationship with God.

The next room we hit was that of the sweet family I had been able to pray for in the PICU (Jikku, Gladia, Gladvin, and Jose). They were delighted to see me, because they had just been told that there was an infection in Gladia's blood, so they would have to stay a little longer until they found out what it was and how to treat it! I was so sad to hear that, but I was able to offer encouragement and pray for them once more. Afterward, Jose said to me, "You and your prayers are like a river of life. You are going to be such a sweet blessing to your husband one day!" I thought that was so sweet, so I thanked him, but reminded him, that I am just a vessel, through whom Jesus lets flow His living water. They have been so kind to me, though! I just pray they get to go home soon!

Next, we went to the endoscopy/scanning waiting room and sat by a woman named Jiffee. She said she was there because she had found a clavicular node about 5 years ago, but never had it checked out, because it had not given her problems. But, just recently it started to pain her, so she decided to get it checked out. She asked me why I was there (like all of the patients had! :)), and I told her a little about me, but then she was called back for her scan. At this point, Ating and I got to talk a little. She got a little giddy at one point, just wanting to know about me and my family. I thought it was sweet that so quickly a friendship was growing between us. I told her about me, then got to hear a little about her. She is 26 and has 5 siblings. Her family lives in NE India, where she is from, and she has not seen them in 1 1/2 YEARS!! She said it was because it took her 4-5 DAYS on the train to get to her city, and then a WHOLE NIGHT on a bus to get to her house. She could not afford plane trips. I was utterly shocked. People in America complain about having to drive for 10 hours to get home, but they don't have to be on a hot dirty train for 4-5 days, and THEN take a bus to get home! The more I visit other countries, the more I realize how vain our complaining is. We have no idea how good we have it in America, sometimes. I then got to tell her all about my boyfriend, Steven, and encourage her that waiting is worth it! She was very thankful for my the short version of our story that I shared, and said it was good to be reminded that God is in control!

Jiffee, then came out again, and started to ask more about us. Then, I got to the point where I asked her about what she thought of God. She told me that she was not like many other people. She did not go to church, but she believes in God and knows that He is the One who has been getting her through her hard times in life. It was difficult to gauge with this short conversation her true beliefs, because she was kinda all over the place, but still, a very confident person when she speaks. She mentioned something about Campus Crusade in Bangalore, though, and I got really excited. I pulled out the last track I had(I thought. I found another this morning)and gave it to her, saying I had gotten it from Cru. She had to leave, but before she did, we prayed for her.

We ended up getting to pray for about 6 other patients, and then we called it a day. Ating and I talked a little longer and exchanged emails. I made sure that she knew I was going to be in the PICU and that she could come and say hi, whenever, and I would try and drop by the chapel too. She looked so sad to part ways. So, I asked if I could pray for her, before I left, and she was very thankful.

Today (Saturday), I was in the PICU again, and not too much happend, I am asserting myself in confidence more, though, and the nurses are becoming more comfortable in me helping out. I did catch a glimpse of some miscommunication between staff (and how it was affecting, very much, the health of a child)and a lack of professionalism in dealing with the matter. It was a little difficult to watch, but it is one more thing I am taking notes on that need to be taught when starting such a facility.

So much keeps happening here, and I know that God is not through using me yet, here in Bangalore, because I AM STILL HERE for 3 more days! Please pray for perseverance and strength, and PLEASE keep Gladia and her family in your prayers!