One for the Other...

Terrace quickly became one of my favorite places here in Cambodia...not only because they serve REAL coffee (not NesCafe), but more so because it became the house of prayer and scripture reading for Dani and I. We have been going through Romans together, just reading it, out loud, cross-referencing, and discussing what we don't understand or what really stands out to us.

While we were going through Romans 4-7 on Sunday, one thing in particular stuck out to me:

"In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus. Therefore, do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey it's evil desires. Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, BUT RATHER, offer yourselves to God; as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to Him as instruments of righteousness. For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace." Rom. 6:11-14

In general, I feel like the LORD has been showing HOW MUCH He is ALL ABOUT redemption!!! In all He does, He is working toward redeeming everything for His glory, back to what it was created for, to glorify Him. I really like how God is always giving us a way out. He doesn't just give us a list of do's and don'ts, but He gives us replacements, something ELSE, something BETTER!! In this passage, it is better desires, and a DIFFERENT, BETTER way to use our bodies as instruments (not for wickedness, but righteousness). He knows that He has created us with these desires, to serve a master, to use our bodies as instruments. He knows also that because of the fall, we want to follow evil desires, and use it for OUR good, and this is why He has given us a way out. He wants to REDEEM those desires. So, His commands are not just empty commands, but He gives us a better alternative. He gives us Himself, namely what that desire was meant to lead us to originally, before the fall. We also pulled this from Eph. 5:18 and 1 Cor. 10:13.....It has been INCREDIBLE though how much I have been getting to know the heart of God, and how the more I know that, the more what He does makes sense! He is just SOOOO loving!!! His plan of redemption is all over the place!!! (On this trip alone, He has brought me to Hosea and Ps. 107 too to show me His character of redemption!)...

Since the last time I wrote, Dani and I went on the Logos staff retreat in Koh Kong. This was such a great experience for me, but at times, I did feel very out of place, because the purpose of this retreat is to create unity within the staff, to get everyone on the same page, with the same goal, namely, to know Christ and make Him known. Obviously, not being a staff member, I tried to stay out of the way of Dani bonding with the other staff members. It was really hard, because I love being in the midst of God unifying His body. I did, however, attend the first and last session. The first session was on spiritual warfare. It was quite powerful and eye opening. The speaker, Jamie reminded us about the seriousness of this battle going on around us. He told a story (which I am trying to recall as best I can)of how his boss fell sick and he went to go visit and take care of him. All the people in the community knew Jamie was a Christian and began thinking that Jamie was making him sick with his prayers to God. Because of their spiritual awareness(despite the fact it was twisted), they came to the gate of the house, time and time again, holding their hands up and praying against Jamie, and Jamie would go out on the porch and hold his hands up, praying the spirits would stay OUT of his property, that they would stop at the gate. The people in the community would tie strings on posts representing prayers to their gods and set up spirit houses outside his gate, and Jamie would go cut the strings and knock down the spirit houses. Talk about LITERALLY fighting a spiritual battle...He also said, "We have got to be ACTIVE in this battle-the enemy is trying to blind those who we are fighting for to know the LORD." Then, he shared a story about sharing a verse with an unbeliever, but whenever he showed him the Bible, the man just responded that the pages were blank. He even held out the Word and pointed to the verse, and the man said, "All, I see is a blank page", and upon flipping through the rest of the Book, he could see no words on the pages...we are in a WAR, and we need to be ready, with our armor on, fighting back!

On the second day, we traveled to a waterfall. It was a bit of a let down, because the waterfall, was so small, but the boat ride there was fun, and just the sound of the waterfall and the jungle surrounding it made the trip worth it!!! Oh, and also, Dani and I climbed down the rocks to get closer to the waterfall, and got in trouble by the boat drivers, because we were too close. They also wouldn't let us climb the rocks UP the mountain...boo! On the last day, Dani and I rode home on the blue van. I am SUPER glad that we did, because Lyle knew of some hidden waterfalls off this dirt road, so we decided to check them out. They were WAY better than the ones we had originally seen, and this time, we could jump off the cliff into the water. It wasn't that high, but it was still TONS of fun!!!....It was a great day to be wearing a skirt, but that didn't stop me! :)

These last few days have been so precious to me, but also quite difficult. I long to be home, with family, friends, and my sweet boyfriend, but also, I know that I still have to finish strong here! Good thing we serve a Mighty God with inconceivable amounts of strength to give! Today is my last full day, and I am praying I can squeeze all the glory for the LORD I can out of it!

On the last day of the retreat, God spoke something so sweet to my heart, "Most of these people will probably forget who you are, but they won't forget what I have done through you." I think that is one of the BEST conclusions that anyone can have to any mission the LORD sends them on!!

This is how it was meant to be, "He must become greater; I must become less." John 3:30

Time Flies when You're Having Fun...

It is crazy how fast a week can fly by, with so much happening everyday!...then again, that's one of the reasons the time flies...

All the happenings of this week have somewhat blurred together. Some of the highlights were getting to play more with the kids at PE, pulling two HUGE brown, leaflike crabs out of the pool, coming up with last minute games for the kids to play when their swimming times gets "thundered and lightening-ed" out (we still swim if it's only raining), teaching one of the morning devotions to the 7th graders (I got to teach them SOAP! How fun is that?!?!), playing soccer with the HS boys and blocking a few passes, going to chapel with the middle school and HS and watching them praying with one another, hanging out at the home of 5 of the Logos teachers, going to the Russian market (it's on Russian street, so that's how it got its name. It has nothing to do with Russia), hanging out on the town with some more teacher friends and friends of friends, watching Top Gun, thoroughly enjoying one of the 5th grade students named Daniel do an impression of the youtube "Ouch Charlie", and TRULY taking a Sabbath today (Sunday)-just relaxing and resting in the LORD...not to mention, classes on top of all of that (which Dani has OBVIOUSLY more to do with that than I do...most of the time I am just reading during class or helping with small projects)!

Now you can see a little better what I mean when I said, "so much happening"! :) I can see that it is taking a lot out of Dani, and she made a REALLY great point last night when we were talking about being tired! We were talking with our friend, Erin, about how it's not that they are necessarily more busy here in Cambodia than they would be at home, but they are just more emotionally invested in everything going on here...with the kids, with praying for the school, with the holidays that are just so spiritually heavy for the whole country (like Pchumben). I can TOTALLY see what they mean, and I have only been here for 3 weeks...but what a greater witness to the truth of 2 Cor. 12:10, "That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.".....AMEN!!!

Hanging out with the girls was such a FUN night!! I have had to realize that I cannot steal Dani away from all these people, because I am only here for a short period of time, and when I'm gone, I don't want her to feel like she has pushed away other relationships in this month so that she could hang out with me and cater to me! It was never my intention to do so, but it is only normal to gravitate toward the familiar in the midst of somewhat unfamiliar. I am SOOO blessed the more I am reminded of what a great friend I have in her and that the LORD has given me this time with her as a gift!! That being said, it is just lovely to see her relationships she has created with these awesome women with the same heart to serve and make Him known!! I LOVED being able to see the hearts that these women have for all the students! With such a high turnover rate of teachers, I can see how it would be difficult to have any sort of consistency, because with every new teacher, come new ideas. Watching them come together on certain issues concerning the students was such a beautiful picture of the body of Christ working together in the unity of the Spirit! Regardless of our backgrounds, our theologies, our age, the Spirit was binding us together, giving us one-mindedness, the mind of Christ. Just one more awe-striking moment of how INCREDIBLY INTRICATE our precious Jesus works for His Name's sake!

Like I said, we are going on the staff retreat this week from Weds-Fri, and I am excited to have the privilege of tagging along! After the retreat, Dani and I are planning on going to Takeo, where they have planted a church. I'm not positive on all that we will be doing when we get there, but I am always up for an adventure, and where Dani and Reed are gathered, there is sure to be an adventure close behind soon to be had!!! :)

So, please be praying for the staff and for Christ to unite them on this retreat, for the church in Takeo, for safe travel, and for God to continue to use me for His glory on the last bit of this trip! Pray I stay focused on the work He has for me here, and not to dwell on home and being there just yet! I miss you all, and love you immensely, but I am still here, because this is where Christ has me for the rest of this month! :) I CANNOT wait to see all of you when I get home, though!

Peace and blessins! :)

Proclaiming the LORD's death until He comes...WHEREVER we go!...

“For whenever you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the LORD’s death until He comes” (1 Cor. 11:26)

Such sweet fellowship Dani and I shared, right in the middle of one of the seven wonders of the world, the Angkor Wat temples in Siem Reap, where we traveled last weekend!!! A beautiful red-stoned temple was our spot of choice to share communion together! We had planned earlier that morning to have our quiet times in one of the temples, but, not even thinking of it, D had brought some crackers, as a snack, and we both had water, so we decided what better way to start our time with the LORD than proclaiming His death RIGHT THERE! I mean, it was almost unreal that we were sitting on the grounds of temples, built to worship OTHER gods, filled with people who STILL are trusting in these powerless idols...SUCH a glorious picture of how GOD CANNOT BE CONTAINED...there is no where that He cannot be proclaimed and praised by His children...His presence, so evident...this battle being fought, every day, claiming truth with every step we take, every breath we take, regardless of where we are, who we are amongst!!!!.....Goodness, I just LOVE it!! I am just so overwhelmed with how much He loves us and delights in us loving Him!!!

I also was thinking about how INCREDIBLE communion is! Eating a cracker and drinking fluid...this seems so simple, something we do everyday, but God has used this act to put motions to what we are proclaiming!!...to make it know to the world! Also, while it seems so simple and ordinary, it is still completely OUT of the ordinary to see someone holding a small piece of cracker, and a small cup of fluid, praying over it, and participating in it, together with others....it is INTRIGUING, is it not?!?!?....it can SOOO easily be used to draw people to ask questions, therefore, opening the door to share!...

After communion, we were approached by two beggar girls, trying to persuade us to buy postcards or bracelets, very typical in well known tourist areas in Cambodia!...It was hard for us, because we kept saying, "No, thank you", in english and Khmai(sp?), and finally they ended up leaving. So, once they left, we began praying together, and one thing placed so heavily on my heart was pleading with God to show us how to respond to these beggars! Sadly enough, it has become very normal for us to just say, "No, thank you" and then sort of ignore them, but my heart was pricked with pain, because I was trying to picture Jesus responding to them, and I could NEVER see Him responding that way! I was thinking about this in Calcutta, and the story I was reminded of was in Acts 3:1-10. I was thinking, I could just respond, "Silver and gold I have not, but what I have I give you, in the Name of Jesus, walk"...however, if I said this, would it not be a lie, because I do have "silver and gold"?!?!...Dani had come to the same verse when she was reading through Acts on Monday morning, but I told her my thought on it as well. So, we were both confused, and I still don't have an exact answer, but I do know that in Luke 12;12, it says that when you are brought before synagogues...the Holy Spirt will teach you at that time what to say", and in Ex. 4:12, the LORD tells Moses, "Now, go; I will HELP you speak AND TEACH you what to say." Anyways, we are just praying and trusting that God CAN and WILL do this!!! After prayer, we just sang aloud, praises to our awesome God!!!...It was interesting how a place FILLED with tourists going in and out of every temple, we were not even disturbed at all during this time.

All in all, this whole trip to SIem Reap was just breathtaking. Every place we came upon, I was just in awe of this stone creation, built by the hands of men, created by such an artistic and beautiful God, who then also created all the GREEN vegetation throughout the grounds of this place! We took SOOO many pictures, but they, of course, cannot do what our eyes beheld justice!!!....On that note, I would like you to know that Dani and I have become self-timer PROS!! And, if you know D, you know that she is QUITE the adventurer...I'm not as much as her, but I would say I still contain a thirst for adventure as well. Angkor Wat had NO IDEA what was hitting it that day! In short, we climbed a little and took some INSANE pictures, and then sort of got told by an officer it was too dangerous and we should come down! It wouldn't be a successful trip, I guess, though, if we didn't get approached by a guard and told NOT to do something!! :)

My heart is becoming more and more filled with a love for the people of Cambodia, but even more than that for the LOST in general!!! I just desire SOOO badly for salvation to come and reign down on them!!! I want to see a revival, a spirit-filled movement sweep the nations, and ALL for the SAKE OF THE NAME OF JESUS!!!!....God knew EXACTLY the fire He was going to create when He placed Dani and I in each other's lives!!...And, He knows that we will be able to encourage and pass this fire to those around us, so they can join in this joy, this longing, this love, OVERWHELMING, to have the same heart for the world that God has!!!...however that may look in each individual's life!!!!

The kids at school are also starting to learn my name and I am being able to play with them during PE! I am also benefitting from the swim and ballet classes Dani teaches! I am learning all the different strokes, and I joined the girls in ballet yesterday, which was SOO fun! They definitely enjoyed laughing at my PK turns, which I though were not THAT bad, but of course, they just think it's funny that I'm joining them!! I love to seem them light up with joy!! Also, in PE, for the 3rd and 4th graders, we had Amazing Race-Cambodia, and they LOVED it!!! Dani is really creative, once again, another confirmation that this is EXACTLY where the LORD wants her and how He has equipped her with EVERYTHING she needs to serve Him, right where she is!! :)

Continue to pray for the kids here, for Dani and I, for the rest of the staff, and for the nation of Cambodia. It is CRAZY to see these kids and how INCREDIBLE their faith is for the LORD. They think SO much, and have SO many GREAT questions. Many of them, unlike a lot Americans, do not go home to believing parents; they don't receive doctrine or godly direction at home, they learn about God at school, and through the staff, and then GOD speaks straight to their hearts! Their genuine faith for God is so refreshing! Once again, amazed at God's hand at work! NOTHING holds Him back!!!

SO, one last note, if you feel like you are not getting to read enough about my trip (haha!), I would like to suggest to you to read Dani's blog as well! It's at http://danibutschek.wordpress.com/ Also, there are some pictures on it as well! :)

Prayers of the Pleading Heart...

"Pray Continually" 1 Thess. 5:17

I don't know if I have ever experienced the reality of this Word from the LORD more than I have on this journey! From the very beginning, my prayer was, LORD use me, show me the purpose of this journey, keep my heart undivided, go before me and show me the way, and may my life bring You glory! From there, I have added prayers for strength, perseverance, other people, contentment, surrender, and the like! When I arrived in Kalighat, my prayers were for even specifically for friends, where I would get food and clean drinking water, where I would stay, HOW IN THE WORLD can my compassionate little heart pass a beggar and not feel compelled to give them something (side note, I learned that I was able to give them something, it just wasn't material...I prayed for them!)...When I reached my final destination in Cambodia, my prayers have been for a revealed purpose, for a revival to start in Cambodia, for these FREEDOM seekers to find release of their chains in the ONLY Person who offers true salvation, for Logos International and their mission, for the kids, the staff, and ESPECIALLY for one of my best friends and sister, Dani-D!!!

One of the best things about my friendship with Dani is that we are both completely captivated by the love of Jesus!!!!!! For those of you who don't know, we were roommates a while back in college, and easily became close, but I think this past week, I have gotten to know her heart on a level I never experienced in my time while I was living with her. God has also so obviously matured and brought her nearer to Him while she has been able to live here!!! It is just incredible!!! While I have been here, God has given us so much precious time to talk about Him, life, deep questions, ourselves and how we work, Cambodia, and the school in general! Also, Dani is just a praying machine! That has probably been the BIGGEST blessing of my time here so far is praying with her!! We pray so much, out loud, for specifics, for Cambodia, whatever is on our hearts! I love it, the openness, seeing the necessity to cry out to God!....

Attending Dani's classes has been more fun than I could have imagined! The kids are so cute! My favorite class was the 2nd grade, becaue when D introduced me and said I would be there for 3 weeks, they all screamed and went crazy like they thought having me here was the best thing to happen to them since steamed rice!!!!....Dani teaches all grades, except 6th. The classes are P.E., swimming, ballet, pre-algebra, and health!...I have been able to help her out as much as I can, but more than anything, I have been able to see God's hand at work, in having her here, exactly where God wants her, teaching these kids!...

We normally just leave for the school at around 7 in the morning, ride through the Cambodian traffic on our bikes(praying the whole time for safety! :) ), have class until 3:30 (sometimes having break periods where we get to go to the staff room and talk), stay at the school until 4-ish, ride back, and then we just sort of hang out, which includes reading, writing, talking, or watching a movie, and then typically try and go to bed at a decent hour! It is sooo great!!!...Today was a little different, though. D had an off period, so we got to stay in the staff room a little longer than normal, and just talked and talked about life, about some hard stuff, and then we just prayed over it!!!!....Then, after school, we went a different way home, and stopped in at the coffee shop (The Terrace Coffee-Cambodian Starbucks...LITERALLY, it has the same logo as Starbucks, but with some other god in the middle...haha!) We got to just sit there, hang out, and talk, about Jesus, her life after Cambodia...then, she opened my Bible to one of her favorite stories, 2 Chronicles 20 and read it to me...if you know D, you know she LOVES stories-to tell and be told...We were both just getting fired up hearing of the faithfulness and POWER of the LORD, and how these people were ON THEIR FACES praising Him, even BEFORE He did what He said He was going to do!!!...You should read it, but the story basically is about King Jehoshaphat and Jerusalem and Judah being afraid to fight against the men of Ammon and Moab and Mount Seir, so they were crying out to the LORD, His response:

"Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God's...You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you, Oh Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the LORD will be with you." (20:15-17)...then, it goes on to say they did what the LORD said, He told them once again to have faith, they praised Him, and the LORD had them men from Ammon, Moab, and Mount Seir TURN ON EACH OTHER AND LITERALLY FIGHT THEMSELVES!!!! When the men of Judah and Jerusalem approached the place of battle, all they saw were dead bodies, because God had fulfilled what He said He would...duh!!!....from this Dani said, "I mean, He can do that, but we still question if He can tell us specifically where He wants us to go and what He wants us to do. I mean, He is so powerful that He could TELEPORT us there, if He wanted. Why do we even worry or doubt?".....I said fist that's crazy that she said that, because I HAVE been praying for teleportation, b/c I REALLY do not like flying (hahaha!), but I understand it would take away the opportunities to talk to people on the journey!...Then, she wanted me to tell one of my favorite stories, and since we had been talking about David earlier, I had already shared the story of David and Bathsheba and how God had blessed them after His punishment...Only recently when I was going through Beth Moore's book, "A Heart Like His" did I realize that after David had sinned with Bathsheba, gotten her pregnant, killed her husband, the LORD killed that son, but provided a new child right after and that child was SOLOMON....are you KIDDING ME, God!!! How LEGIT are You?!?!?!?!...talk about blessing us when we don't deserve it! So, I decided to turn to 1 Sam. 5 and talk about Samuel for a little bit! One of my favorite stories is of when the Philistines stole the Ark of the LORD and they brought it to the temple of Dagon(a statue...it's found in 1 Sam. 5:1-6-12, if ya wanna read it!!). Let me just write this story out, because that is how FYE it is!!!...

"After the Philistines had captured the Ark of the God, they took it from Ebenezer to Ashod. Then, they carried the Ark into Dagon's temple and set it beside Dagon. When the people of Ashod rose early the next day, there was Dagon FALLEN ON HIS FACE ON THE GROUND BEFORE THE ARK OF THE LORD! They took Dagon and put him back in his place. But the following morning when they rose, there was Dagon, FALLEN ON HIS FACE ON THE GROUND BEFORE THE ARK OF THE LORD! HIS HEAD AND HANDS HAD BEEN BROKEN OFF AND WERE LYING ON THE THRESHOLD; only his body remained." (1 Sam. 5:5:1-4, emphasis mine)...then, The LORD's hand was so heavy upon the people, they decided to send it back. They put the ark on the back of two cows that have calved and had never been yoked, and took their calves away. For those of you who that makes no difference to you, understand, there are two very important things to know. Because these cows had calves who were there (even though they were not with them), the cows would typically not go down the road, because they wanted to watch over them. Also, if they had never been yoked, that means they don't know the roads, so they would get lost if they did decide to move, going off the roads to graze and such...They had told the people that if the cows made it back, then it was the LORD who had done everything with Dagon and making their hearts heavy, but if the cows did not make it there, then it was just a coincidence, SO BASICALLY, they were trying to rig this "returning" of the Ark of God!...Well, God had different plans, "Then the cows went STRAIGHT UP toward Beth Shemsh, KEEPING ON THE ROAD AND LOWING ALL THE WAY; THEY DID NOT TURN OT THE RIGHT OR TO THE LEFT" (1 Sam. 5:12, emphasis mine)....ONCE AGAIN, ARE YOU KIDDING MEEEE?!?!?!?!...Can I get an AMEN!!!!!.....Just incredible! When God wants something done, He does it, all for His glory, all for His Name's sake!....

Then, later tonight, we came home and just had a sweet time of praise and worship with the LORD and Kari Jobe...just pure devotion lifted to His listening ears, wrapped up in His arms receiving the praises of His beloved ones....We were so moved, that afterwards, we couldn't help but cry out to the LORD in prayer over so many different things!...Tonight was SUCH a picture of how the body is to be used! We are to bring one another to the light, encourage, cry aloud from our desperate hearts to Him to move, to be glorified in out measly lives, to use disobedient and wayward children like ourselves for His Name's sake!

Anyways, then we made banana chocolate smoothies with her roommate, Elaine!...Today was INCREDIBLE!!!...SUCH a freedom we have been able to walk in, and we know the enemy does not like his enemy (the LORD) providing such freedom! Please be in prayer that God will continue to stir the hearts of His loved ones, that He will continue to work in our lives, in specific ways, that He would speak and show! I also pray in NO WAY that you are giving any of the glory due to the Father to us for our simple response to the beckoning of our Jesus! He EVEN provides the desire to do that!!!!


" NOW TO HIM WHO IS ABLE TO DO IMMEASURABLY MORE THAN ALL WE ASK OR IMAGINE, ACCORDING TO HIS POWER THAT IS AT WORK WITHIN US, TO HIM BE GLORY IN THE CHURCH AND IN CHRIST JESUS THROUGHOUT ALL GENERATIONS, FOREVER AND EVER! AMEN!" Eph. 3:20-21

Honor the Texas Flag....

It is difficult to understand the culture of a people without fully understanding their history, where they have come from...On Saturday, Dani took me to go see the Toul Sleng. It is an old school that was turned into a torture chamber for people whom Pol Pot decided were trying to overthrow him. He was a leader in Cambodia, and somewhat like Hitler, he went insane, and began thinking that people were out to get him. This is quite obvious when you walk through this place, now made into a museum, and just look at the faces of THOUSANDS of innocent people, young and old, male and female. There are paintings of the types of torture they endured, you can touch the VERY beds that these people slept in. I was almost getting nauseas, because the reality of this event was gripping walking through the buildings! I could almost hear these people crying out for mercy! This only went on a little over 30 years ago too. I shook my head in confusion when I go to the portrait of Pol Pot, himself. I wondered how someone could ever, EVER make it right in their mind that torturing another human being is right, that's it is good.

Danielle and I were talking the other day about Hosea, because we are going through it in a Bible Study we are doing with a girl named Michaela, and we started talking about sin. We discussed how we as humans think sin is good, that it is right and better for us, at least in the moment, or otherwise, we wouldn't do it. The enemy is so good at twisting truth, making you think, little by little that what you are doing is right. And if we are not on our guard, seeking the LORD daily, resisting that devil voice whispering in our ear, then we could end up in genocide...never underestimate the power he has been given to manipulate, tempt, lead astray, steal, kill, and destroy, BUT EVEN MORE IMPORTANTLY ALWAYS REMEMBER, "You are from God, little children, and have overcome them; because greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world" 1 John 4:4!

Dani has also een telling me about the corruption of the government! Their school had no electricity last year, because the government kept shutting it off...because this is a Christian school!....So, this year, the school raised enough money to buy a generator to keep their electricity on, but the government found out and said that they would not be able to use it unless they provided power for the whole neighborhood or paid them $40,000. They said no, so about once a week it is turned off, but they really can't do much about it!....Persecution, so blatant! They also are trying to rebuild Cambodia, adding new buildings and trying to make it more appealing, which is not a bad idea in itself when gone about rightly, but the government decides to take over people's land, give them $25 and then torch their houses and whatever they cannot carry out with them. Once again, there is not much the people can do about this.

After the museum, we walked along, seeing the palace and many different monuments in the middle of the city. We almost got arrested a couple times too, because Dani decided to have us commit some illegal acts, but did not find it necessary to tell me that they were illegal (very small things, though like walking on the grass in front of the palace...). The funny thing was, we were self-timing all of our pictures, but D was ALWAYS the one to set up the self-timer, so I was ALWAYS the one committing the illegal act for the longest, and therefore the one the police officer would approach and blow their whistle at! It was great, though! We shared lots of laughs, and I learned a lot about this side of Cambodia!

NOT TO MENTION...When we were eating lunch at this little place on the riverside, Dani pointed my attention to the national flags lining the river, and THEN, I EXPERIENCED ONE OF THE BEST MOMENTS IN MY LIFE!!!!!....there it was, in the midst of all the National flags....THE TEXAS FLAG!!!!!!!!....the best country ever!! :) It was just incredible! we even made a video of it, because we are just so proud!!!

After the tour of the city, we went home and just rested a little...Sunday we got up and went to the coffee shop to just talk and have our quiet times! One of my favorite things about Dani and being here with her is just getting to talk about God all the time and pray about anything and everything!! She is just SUCH a sweet blessing to me, and I thank God for her love for Him and her obvious obedience to serve the nations in his name, for HIs glory!!! It just fires me up to do the same!

We went to church, then had our bible study with Michaela at another coffee shop. It was just INCREDIBLE!!! We went verse by verse through the first 13 verses of Hosea, just talking about the commentaries we had read over the night before, how it gives God CRAZY amounts of glory, what it means for us, what it is saying about Israel, and how we can apply it to our lives! I was so filled after that! And then, we prayed!!!!...one of my favorite things to do here, in public! :)

Then, Dani decided to get me a bike for my birthday, so we went and got her bike, walked it to the bike shop, IN THE RIVER, got my bike, ate at the Pizza Company, then biked back, through the disease-infested waters....I do have to say though, that Dani and I prayed for protection from the diseases! Then, we made it home, and washed up!!!....AND, I got to SKYPE with my boyfriend!!! It was just the best ending to the day!

God is just opening my eyes to SOOO much here, and to be ablt to share it with one of my best friends is just incredible!!! God is Glorious!! :)

Serving with Stained Hands...

It's so crazy to think that you can get so close to someone in just a short period of time! This has happened more than once in my life, but I am specifically talking about my trio to Kolkata right now. I was unsure how spending my birthday halfway across the world from home with people I had known for less than a week would pan out. Well, I was greeted in the morning on the way to breakfast with a Happy Birthday banner from one of my Mexican friends, and then one of my Japanese friends bought me a present (a bird whistle), then my roommate Marjorie and friend, Ciara bought me a ring of beautiful flowers that apparently people use to place on statues of gods, so I wasn't supposed to wear them! Haha! Then, we spent the whole afternoon together, eating dinner at our favorite place, going to the coffee shop, then getting henna!! It looks really legit!! :)

That morning I traveled to Kalighat on the bus all alone, because I needed to get there earlier than normal to help with wound care! I had some man lead me there after I got off the bus, though, because I was a little lost, but I made it there safely and on time! No worries! Wound care was so great that morning! I mean, they were some of the worst wounds I have seen yet, and the worst part about them was the smell, but it was still a great learning experience for me! I also got to talk to the sister who was the head nurse there, and she was telling me all about the history of Kalighat! I asked her how the patients actually end up at Kalighat. She told me that people from the streets just bring them in when they know they are bad enough to need it, and also government officials will do the same. The whole city just knows the good that this place provides for people. She commented as well on how people who had stayed there and gotten well enough to go back to the streets will now come back every once in a while for a cold or jus to shower, but the sisters are MORE than happy to serve them and have them come in for whatever! I loved hearing that!! This place is like the hospital they WANT to go to, because the other public hospitals are so corrupt! The craziest part about Kalighat is that it is PART OF THE HINDU TEMPLE, but now they are letting Christians serve the poor through it! How great is that?!?!...Right in the middle of Hindu country, God's hand is obviously at work! After wound care, I helped by massaging, brusing teeth, exercise, and washing dishes. Then, I went and had birthday celebration, like I mentioned earlier!!

My last day of Kalighat was bittersweet! I was sad to say goodbye to everyone, but I still had one whole day with them. So, I tried to do as much as I could, but I could tell that I was getting worn out, and would definitely need a break when I got to phnom Penh. So, I said my goodbyes after the normal routine...Oh, and with wound care tat morning, the sister let me do more of the cleaning by myself, and that was gross, but great all at the same time!! That afternoon, I went with one of the Mexicans to the Dispensory. It is another one of the Missionaries of Charity places, where they do walk-in wound care. I was not able to stay very long, but I got to dress two more wounds, then left to go meet up with Marjorie! We went and had coffee with Ciara and Lorea. We talked all about our college systems and how that all works. Then, we just hung out the rest of the night! I packed up and just said my goodbyes to those I could!

god's grace and provision was very evident the morning I left for Phnom Penh! I got to the airport a little late, because my driver had no idea where it was. Then, he dropped me off at the Domestic one instead of the international one, so I had to run there. Once I got inside, it was a little confusing, but I finally made it to the check in counter. Well, my bags are a little too heavy, because I forgot to factor in that international weights are a lot lighter than domestic in America, but when they were too heavy from my flight from Bangalore to Kolkata, the price was only about $8, so I didn't really worry about paying that. However, this morning the price was $150, because it was a different airlines! I freaked out a little bit, and started to tear up, but I told the woman I needed to call my dad to see what I needed to do. The phone was not working though, so when she got back, I had just decided that I would pay it, and figure out what to do later, because I didn't have much time before my flight left. well, in the time that I was trying to call my dad, she had gone to talk to whom I am guessing is the manager. They came over and started to give me options, but none of them seemed to work out for me, because they all required more complications, and paying in cash, which I didn't have on me at the moment. I started crying, but I was trying to hide it, because I didn't want to make them feel bad that MY bags were overweight. after talking a while in their language, they told me that they were going to send my bags all the way through, and not charge me AT ALL!!! WHAT?!?!?!?!....I said thank you like a million times, and the manager just looked at me and said something like, "It's because we both serve the same God who created us, and it just makes me happy to be abel to make people smile." How great is that! Well, then I rushed through immigration and security, and then they escorted me to the bus that brought me to the plane, because I was running late!

The flight seemed so long, and I had the whole row to myself, so I slept for most of it! Bangkok airport was really big, but I found my way to the check-in, and then my gate, and I took another nap..I was apparently very tired. After my 3 hour layover, I boarded the plane, and in no time I was in Phnom Penh! I waited for Dani outside, and then I saw her running up to me, and I was SO ecstatic!! It was SO great to see a familiar face!!!!! Then, it was tradition to go get blizzards from the DQ in the airport, so we did, and the first thing that she wanted to talk about was Steven...so, we did all the way home! Then, we talked about my previous trips and just what the LORD has taught me, and it was so great!!!!!

I woke up the next morning quite discouraged! Skype hadn't worked the night before, and I was just missing people back home, so I decided that I REALLY needed to get into the Word. I started writing and reading, and it was just like refreshing waters washed over me! I was once again renewed with strength! I had been weary of my purpose here in Cambodia, not really sure why was here! I knew it was good to see Dani, but I knew there had to be something more as well! I was reminded of Is. 61:1-4, from Breaking Free that I had read over and over a long time ago! I read it, and God said to me, "That is your purpose"! So, this weekend, we are planning on taking tour de Phnom Penh, and then I get to go to my first class and meet the kids with Dani on Monday! I am QUITE excited!!!! :)

I cannot believe that I am on my last leg of the trip, but I am pumped to see what the LORD has in store on literally the other side of the world!! :)

Divine Interventioins in the Every Day Things...

Have you ever felt like you needed to do something specific, but you really didn't know why exacxtly?...Well, that happend to me this morning! Last night, I had wrestled with God! I was just so worn out, and He reminded me that I need not rely on my own strength, becauase that was not going to last me! He spoke sweet words of comfort and encouragement over my heart, and gave me such complete and utter rest! I slept SO well last night, not even waking up once (which is a BIG DEAL, because it was the first night I have done that since I have been gone!)!!! I woke up with a Heavenly alarm (my alarm on my phone had not been set, but God woke me up one minute past the time I had planned to get up!)! I got ready, and just felt like I needed to have my quiet time in the "common area", instead of on my bed, as I normally do!...It seemed odd to me, but I responded and did so! I got to read some Psalms, journal and pray for so long, because God had gotten me up on time, and I didn't fight getting up (like I am very prone to do)!!! I was still waking up a little, so after reading Psalm 80, I closed my eyes just to rest for a second, and I heard someone walk by the doorway, so I opened my eyes, and just as I closed my Bible, the man who does our laundry walked in! I was a little caught off guard, because he moves kind of quick, but he said to me, "Oh, so you like to study the Bible?), and I said, "Oh yes very much!" Then, he went on to tell me all about how he likes to study the Bible too, but his father is a Muslim (and he said, time and time again that he was too, which I found interesting ), so he has to hide his Bible in his sheets, and when his dad sees it, he gets mad. But, this man liked to read it!...He was a little difficult to understand, but I could see that he really liked the God of the Bible aand He liked Jesus too, but he was torn between culture and the Christ!

In this book I am reading, "The Christ of the Indian Road", it talks a lot about the religiosity of India. The author states, "The Indian people are an intensely religious people, and when the wealth of this spiritual capacity is placed on the disposal of Jesus, the product will be beautiful indeed"! He also spoke of how India is really good at accepting new things, but they lack the ability to get rid of the old. I saw this so evident in the life of this man! He wanted so badly to believe the God of the Bible, but he was caught up in tradition, and just wanted to add Gos's goodness to it! We had a nice short little conversation, and then he let me pray for him!

I went on to breakfast, and from there I traveled with LOREA (not Lorena...that's a different Mexican) to Kalighat! On the bus, I met another man named, Jaime, from Spain! He told me I need to go visit Spain next year, because of an event called "World Youth Day!" It sounds pretty exciting! When I arrived, I was late again to help with wound care, and they apparently assign people, so I just went to help clean mats, and then make beds and put the mats on them! it was so cute how some of the older sickly women were trying to help, but they were so weak, that they would really just pat the bed! I have found also that clapping is a great universal way to say good job to these women! After bed making, I went and said hello to Krishna! I put my hands on her face and told her that she was looking beautiful this morning, and she made eye contact! She actually seemed to improve a little more today too!!!...no walking yet, but eye contact was huge for me! Then, we gave out medications! some of the women just talk and talk to you, and I just nod and say, "Oh yes!" One precious older woman named, Asha was playing jokes on me! She took her first pill and threw the other two on the floor. I went and picked them up and gave them back to her (I know that sounds gross, but they can't waste here, and they clean the floors every day). She took the next one, showed it to e, and then tried to be sneaky while taking the water to slip the other one under her legs. Then, I told her that I saw that and reached under her legs, and then she pushed it farther and put her hands up, like "I don't know where it went"! So, I just lifted her legs up all the way, and grabbed the pill, and put it back in her hand! She just laughed and laughed and shook her finger at me! That was entertaining! Then, I also gave some medications to a woman there named Sodra! She is missing an ear, but she is SOOOOO beautiful! She has the most precious smile, and I saw her later counting to 30 in English with another volunteer!! She prayed before she took her medications and and kissed my hands!

After medications, I went by a woman and she grabbed my hands and said, "Pray"! I wasn't sure if I understood her so I said, "What?", and she said again, "Pray"! So, I started to pray, and a sister came up in the middle of my prayer and tapped my shoulder giving me lotion to put on her! She has scabies. So, I finished my prayer, and then put the lotion on! then, I put some more lotion on some other woman, and just sat by Laila again! She seemed to be even more cuddly today, laying her head on my shoulder, and pulling my legs closer, then at one point, it was like she was trying to rock me! It made me think of my Granny who used to hae her "babies" that she would take care of!

We had our tea break, and one of the sisters came over with a girl from japan who I had told about me being a nurse and the sister said, "You a nurse? You help with wound care tomorrow and the next day?" I GLADLY accepted!!! I had been able to hold a woman's hand and told her to sqeeze it when she was getting her quite infected wound cleaned out! She was sooo sweet...and quite strong, I might add!!! :) Anyways, after the break, we went to help with lunch, and then I did dishes again! I like the system they have set up! ...I'll try and take a picture of it!

So, after dishes, we left! I am realizing that the more I am there, the more I am getting to know the patients and it is getting easier to talk to them even though we have no idead what the other is saying! In most situations, I would feel silly, but the women here will just carry on a conversation with you and gladly just accept your nods and your input, even if it doen not make sense! I love it!!! :)

I went to lunch with the Spaniards and Takku at Blue Sky again, and the waiters there know me now and call me "Morgan"! Sammy is my favorite! He makes jokes with me all the time, just laughing and smiling, thinking he is SO funny!! After lunch, I headed here to the Web, because once again, all I did was pray and trust the LORD to move to use me, to move me out of the way and for His heart to shine through, and touch and comfort the people whom He created and loves, and He did! My sweet Jesus is blessing ME here far more than I feel He is even using me to bless those around me! What a great God we serve! I can't say it enough!!!!! Two more days at Kalighat, and then I am off to my next destination! Crazy to believe that time has gone so fast!! May I still stay focused, with an undivided heart, and continue to complete with faith and excellency the tasks the LORD places before me! :)

P.S. Sorry for all of the grammatical and spelling errors in these blogs! I don't have time here to read back through! :)

Today was yet another wonderful day!! It went a lot faster than expected, but probably just because it was FULL! I started off with volunteer breakfast, then catching the bus to Kalighat (this time it was stopped COMPLETELY when I got on! Haha!)! From there, I walked in talking to another new friend from Japan (I don't recall her name...I'll have to get that tomorrow)! She was a Freshman nursing student, which gave us something to talk about for that short 5 min walk. Then, when we got there, I realized that the wound care teams were already working on the patients, so I was told to go help with the laundry! We rinsed and wrung out clothes for a good hour. It was there I met two new friends named Paula (from Spain) and Lorena (from Mexico). Lorena's English was great, so I found it easy to converse with her, of course, using the same questions I have asked and answered for the past 3 weeks. She is a wonderful girl, though!

After laundry, we helped with exercise, and I was handed the crutches for Krishna! I headed over to her bed, and asked her if she was ready to walk today. She just stared right past me. Another woman from Spain came to help me, which was great, because I was really going to need it! I got her off her bed, and she actually HELPED us get her to the ledge this time, which was an improvement from the other day! Then, at this point she only helped a little more to get on the crutches, but one of the sisters came over again to help. She wasn't walking, but I saw an improvement, so I was telling her good job! The sisters and the workers seem to be so much more harsh with her. It saddens me! I realized that she has doll's eyes too, which I don't remember all that much about it, but I know it has to do with some sort of brain damage/nerve damage (which she has a head injury, and I wonder if that has something to do with it?) She also probably has depression, being in the state she is! I see a lot of classic signs in her!...anyways, I helped as much as I could, but then, they told me to just go put lotion on some of the patients and give them massages and to just leave her. I talked to her for a little bit longer, and then lotioned some patients!

Next, it was tea time, so I went up and saw a poster on the wall with all the Missionaries of Charity listed throughout the world! There are somewhere around 450 MOC Houses and the place that has the most after India is North America! How CRAZY is that?!?!...Then, I met another woman whose name I never got. She is from France, but she has been in Tahiti for about 5 years, practicing as a general doctor! I mentioned that I just finished nursing school and asked her if I could help out with wound care tomorrow, and she said she would be glad to have the help!! I am quite excited about that!!

After the break, they had a mass for the volunteers, then we served lunch, and I decided to help clean the dishes after. Next, I said my goodbyes to the patients and told them I would be back tomorrow, then headed out with Lorena and Bea (another friend from Spain) to go to lunch! Afterward, Lorena needed to go with the rest of the Mexicans, so I was left to find my way home on my own, but I had remembered Ciara saying that if you are on Park Street, just pick a street and walk straight and you will find your way to the street of the hotel. So, I did! NOTHING looked familiar, but I just kept walking, like I knew where I was going, with a purpose, and making little eye contact! About 15 minutes later, I landed on the right street, and it was just a block down to the hotel! I felt quite accomplished after that! :)

I journaled some, because with my days being so busy, I have not been able to as much! Then, I took a short nap, and a new Indian girl came in to stay in our room!....

So, I am starting to understand what my friend, Danielle said about how it's fun to meet people, but sometimes you just want to be around someone you know, because then you don't feel like you have to explain yourself every time you talk and try to MAKE conversation happen! Don't get me wrong, ALL the people I have met have been incredible, and I am SO thankful for them, but I am READY to see DANIELLE...and then my family, boyfriend and friends!! :)

God is still continuing to move here, not in ways that seem huge, but like Mother Teresa said (and there is a sign in Kalighat that says this)"It is not how much we do, but how much love we put in the doing that counts"...I don't know if I put this in my last blog or not, but even if I did, it still rings true! I am praying for the LORD's love to overflow from my heart into the hearts of the least! I am praying for His light to shine forth, so much so, that they can no longer see MY face, MY hands, MY feet, but ONLY the face, hands, and feet of Christ! I am praying that the words that proceed from my mouth are the words of God Himself, speaking to their very deepest needs! Please pray with me! I want nothing more and nothing LESS than for our GREAT God to be glorified right here in the heart of Calcutta! May I continue on with His strength, running and not growing weary, renewed by His mercies every single day!

A cold drink of water....

Tossing and turning in my bed last night for about 2 hours resulted in me sitting straight up in my bed and saying, "What, God?! Why can't I sleep right now?"...He just said, "Listen"...then, after a time, I just began praying for my journey to Kalighat today! After about 30 minutes, I finally fell asleep, but was off and on all night! Then, I woke up and met with the other volunteers at breakfast! I didn't really know anyone going to Kalighat that was around me, but I saw some Japanese people holding a sign, so I walked over to them and became quick friends with Takku and Atushi! They spoke English pretty well! I have found that one of the joys of this whole trip has been not only getting to learn about the different culture of India but of the cultures of all the foreign people I keep meeting! So far, I have met people from Scotland, Australia, New Zealand, England, Poland, Ireland, Japan, Mexico, Spain, France, Germany, and India (duh! :) )!

Well, shortly after introducing myself to the boys, we began to follow these girls who knew where to go! We walked to the bus stop, and when our bus came, we walked toward it! I soon came to realize, that cars are just always on the move here, so as the bus began to move ahead, I had to jump on real quick...they don't like to wait, I guess! We had about a 20 minute bus ride, and then a 5 minute walk, arriving at Kalighat! It was COMPLETELY different than I expected! It was just a whole lot cleaner (in terms of Calcutta)! The men and women are separated on different sides, the simplest of beds on two levels, lined up pretty much side to side!....a quaint little place! I thought there might be a little more guidance to the volunteers, but they basically showed us where to wash our hands, and get our aprons, gloves and masks, then simply said, "Just go help!"...so, I jumped right in on the female side! They had this whole system down! I filled some cups with water, helped give medications out, sat and held an elderly lady named Laila for about an hour (my back was killing me after, because she would not let me shift positions), and she was so precious! She was wanting me to sit and hold her, like a child and she rocked back and forth from time to time! then we walked a few patients, and put lotion on their arms and legs and gave them massages!...just little odds and ends! I am hoping to be able to help with wound care tomorrow, being a nurse and all, that really interests me!! :)

At 10:30, there was a tea break for the volunteers while lunch was being prepared for the patients, and we all went up to the roof, and I got SUPER excited, because on our last day, we can take pictures (inside and out), and the view of the streets is just INCREDIBLE from the roof, so get ready!!! :) After tea (which once again, HOT tea on a HOT day, but apparently, it helps you to sweat less, because your insides are hot...makes sense!! ), we helped serve lunch and then clean up after!!

There was one woman there named Krishna, and she was just a sad sort of woman. A hefty middle-aged amputee, who just sat there and stared straight ahead of her with no motivation to move or do anything! She seemed like she just wanted to be left alone and just to die! I kept finding myself praying for her, over and over!

I have found that none, so far, speak English, but when Christ talked about serving the least of these, he always mentioned actions...cold drink of water, clothing their nakedness, visiting them when they are sick/in prison, giving them food, etc...we are getting to serve Jesus through caring for the least of these, and what glory God is receiving! I just love working with these people too, because they all have such great hearts...not to mention, most are traveling alone, so they love to talk and get to know you!!

After the morning shift, Marjorie, Ciara and I decided to go to the Mother Teresa film, but we had to get the tickets from a friend named, Joan first. When we arrived at her house, she offered us tea, so we gladly accepted! She has been here for 15 years, and she works as a "paramedic". The healthcare is A WHOLE LOT different in Calcutta than it is in America!! She was telling us of the hospital situations and how it is just better to try and get well on the streets than it would be to go to the hospital! They are dirty, they cheat you on money, and they seem to not really CARE for you that much. Also, some kids are taken into slavery...it is just bad! I would say that I want to see it, but I don't know if I could handle it! She was SUCH a kind-hearted woman, though, and she is doing what she can to serve Jesus here and try to make a difference!

After tea, we went to the film, but it ended up being moved to another location, so we were all crammed in a tiny bus, and the boys were VERY respectful and gave us ladies their chairs, which was nice to see! Then, they said that there were too many people on the bus and it would be unsafe to drive, so they made us get off and said they would arrange for "private transportation"...which just meant a car, driven by one of the workers at the theater! Haha! So, when we finally made it to the auditorium, we had missed about 30 minutes of the film, but it was still pretty awesome the part we did get to see! Mother Teresa TRULY lived her life, fully for the LORD! She gave every little piece of herself to Him, and it was just obvious the type of impact Christ had through her, because it showed her funeral and all the different leaders of the world who attended! It was INCREDIBLE!! Christ used this lowly woman with a heart to love Him above all to change the world! How great is that?!?!!?!

Anyways, then we just caught a taxi back, and I am about to go to dinner with the girls! All in all, today was just sort of a time to get oriented with things at Kalighat, but I am hoping to be more involved on my next 4 days there!!! Please pray for my health and for the beautiful people I am privileged to be able to care for in their last moment of life!

A Change of Heart, A Change of Clothes...

Arriving in Kolkata, my heart was racing with excitement, with anticipation of what was going to happen next, how in the WORLD I was going to make it to the Missionaries of Charity, and probably also from the caffeine in the hot tea I had had on the plane! Also, it was QUITE a bit hotter in Kolkata then it was in Bangalore, so now I was starting to see what people meant by India being hot! I found a prepaid taxi place, which I thought would be easier to deal with, since there are so many taxi drivers looking for white people to rip off outside! I didn't get much direction from them as to what I needed to do after I walked outside, so I just winged it! I brought all my bags out the exit and walked down the line of people holding signs until a short, but persistent man asked me for my paper, and then grabbed it and my bags and motioned me to follow him. I did, because I saw the line of yellow taxis he was leading me to. I was just praying that God would get me there safely! When my bags were loaded in the taxi, he asked for a tip, because apparently he was not with the taxi company, he just helped people get their baggage to the taxi (which I could have done myself), but since I had fallen for it, and they HAD helped me, I paid them a tip, and then the driver came over, asked for my slip and the address. I showed him (because I had written it down), and he didn't know where it was! He had to run inside and ask, but then he came back, seeming pretty confident. While he was inside, an old woman approached my car and asked for money (my first experience with beggars here), and I gave her just a little, but she didn't seem satisfied, so I was just praying the driver came back, because I knew if he didn't I might give away all I had! The drive over was interesting, and we went from the "nice" city to the slums in all around 35-40 minutes! I took a short video of the traffic and of the streets, so I will hopefully be able to upload them at some point!!!...

When I arrived at the Mother Home, I got out of the taxi and there was a little girl there name Nayha there to meet me! She was wearing a school outfit, so I thought she was just part of the orphanage, but she had a woman with her, so I thought they might be mother and daughter. They took my bags up to the front door of the Mother Hoe, but I was about an hour and a half early for my "meeting" with Sister Mercy Maria, so they told me to go settle in my hotel and then come back. Well, I did not have reservations, because that was something I was hoping to discuss with the Sister. But, the little girl, Nayha suggested the BMS, and said she would take me there! What a little blessing! Her and the woman took my stuff down the street about 3 blocks to this hotel! When we got there, I paid the little girl some money, because they had been so kind to help me! I was just so grateful! They did not have many rooms available, but they said I could stay in the "dorm style" room, so I took it, not even knowing price or anythign about this place. I just wanted to feel settled, though! They took me to this room, and when i walked in there was 8 twin beds all pretty close, and two bathrooms! I was PLEASED to be there, because there were fans too! They told me that their check in lady was out to lunch but would come get me checked in soon! I sat down, took a deep breath, and then tried to just nap a little before I was to meet with the sister!

About an hour later, the woman showed up and had me come sign in. I saw above my name there was a girl who had just signed in from Kansas who was staying there as well, but I didn't know she was in my room too! I thought I was alone! Then, the woman told me of all the things the hotel offered, and I just began to feel SO much better! I also had just said to God earlier in my room, "LORD, I don't even know where I am going to get food or clean water to drink!"...and as she was talking, she said that the hotel offered lunch and dinner at a small extra price, and al the clean drinking water that I could have! Blessing!!!...When I went back to the room, I realized a poster on the wall with Romans 5:1 written out on it! then there was also an informational book for Christians on Islam, so I knew the pace I was staying in was good!!

I then walked outside to go to the Mother Hoe again to meet Sister Mercy maria, and the little girl and the woman were standing there! They wanted me to go buy milk for their little babies...long story short, I found out that they were professional beggars and the only reason they help white people is to say, we helped, not \\w you pay! The crazy thing is, they don't ask for money, they ask for food or milk...I felt so bad, but I had to go to the meeting, so they said they would wait! Oh gosh! I did not prepare myself for the sights of the poor on the street. I mean, I don't think you really can prepare yourself fully for this! It was just so different and more difficult than my little compassionate heart could handle!

I walked in the Mother House and realized there was some sort of celebration going on, and non one really seemed to be helpful at all. Everyone I asked said they didn't know or they didn't really seem interested in helping me find Sister Mercy Maria. One kind sister tried to give me direction, but apparently there was no registration that day, so I ended up watching the little puppet show that the sisters put on for the children about the life of Mother Teresa, because the next day (August 26) would have been Mother Teresa's 100th birthday. I don't know what it is about me traveling at the times of all these holidays and celebrations! I need to start checking that out before I go! Anyways, it was so cute, and the children loved it! After, I walked out, headed for the hotel and didn't see Nayha or the woman, so I tried to go fast. As I was about halfway there, though, I saw them walking 2 other white girls, and when they saw me, you could tell that they knew I had figured out their little scheme. So, I began walking a little faster, but another little girl had come up to me asking for milk, and I tried to refuse, but then the woman came back and caught up with me. They were both asking for milk, so I ended up caving and buying two milks, one for each, but the woman took both! I felt so bad, but an Indian man looked at me, and just signaled for me to just go. I have never seen such SAD faces in my life! They have definitely been practicing them for a while! I learned later that some of these children have even dropped out of school to become professional beggars, because it makes better money! How SAD!!...anyways, I turned around, and started to tear up, but I was determined to get to my hotel before i started to cry! A little boy approached me, but I just said, "No, sorry, no", and at that moment, my dad called, and I answered but said I couldn't talk at the moment (little did I know, the reason he was calling was because y text saying I had made it safe to Kolkata did not get through-and ALL of my texts have gone through so far- so he wanted to make sure I had gotten there alright! Coincidence, I think NOT!!!). I got back to my hotel and just let it all go! I was bawling my eyes out...and at that moment, I felt just so alone! I called my dad back though, when I had regained composure, and talked for a little, cried a little, but it was a short, yet encouraging conversation and exactly what the LORD had planned. Then, he called my mom, who texted Steven, who texted me (I'm starting to see this family chain thing going on a lot, but I love it! Hahaha! :) ) Steven was able to call me and talk for a little while, and it was so good for my heart to hear his voice! He knew exactly what to say, and God just gave me so much comfort in reminding me that I was NOT AT ALL alone! Steven even made me laugh, which was just what I needed! Then, I just sat in the room, reading, praying, writing! I found comfort in knowing too, that my dad had experienced something similar and my mom had been up all night praying for me! At around 8:30, my roommate came in!

Her name is Marjorie, and she is SUCH a blessing and joy from the LORD! She is a lot like me, just graduated and all, only she is here for 3 months!! We talked about ourselves and just things until 11PM that night! Also, by this point I had come to realize that God had planned for me to get to this hotel, for me to meet Marjorie, and for the next day to e a day of rest!

I woke up the next morning, having slept so well in peace! I had breakfast, and met two lovely English girls named Hannah and Ruth! They were both volunteering at another place, but they were so fun to talk to and get to know! I am actually going to dinner with them in a few minutes, so I need to hurry! Then, we went to mass at 10, and it had been a while since I had been to a proper mass! It was just insane with hoe many people were there, because of Mother Teresa's birthday and all! There were news crews and photographers all over the place! After mass, Marjorie and I met up with a girl named Ciara (pronounced Key-ah-ruh). She is from Ireland and had been there 3 years ago for a year, so she knew the area and was going to take us around the city to do some shopping and just have a relaxing day! We had lunch, then went for coffee at a place much like Starbucks(I QUITE enjoyed that!!)! Then, I bought some Indian pants, that are SOO much lighter than the skirts I brought to wear, and are so much cooler to wear in this weather! Then, we talked about how we are going to celebrate my birthday (with getting a Henna tattoo!!!...and they want me to pierce my nose too, which I am saying no, but they already have it set in their minds-please pray that I wont have to! Haha! :) ). Next we walked to Elliott Park (aka "Couple's Park), and it was hard seeing all the couples, because it made me miss Steven! But, then we went to the Victorian Memorial and rested for a bit on the grass. Once we got back to the hotel, I was able to freshen up, then we went to get some chicken egg rolls on the street! They are literally, chicken and egg, with green peppers and onions, wrapped up in a a chapatti(like a tortilla). It was SO good! I got mine spicy! Then, we headed in for bed! I was INCREDIBLY grateful for Ciara, because she just seemed to know so much about how to deal with beggars, and just street smart skills! I really have enjoyed her, AND her Irish accent!!! :)

This morning, I woke up, went to breakfast! There I met a sweet woman named, Kelly who was from CA, and she just happened to be traveling the world for the next 6 months and would be leaving Kolkata on next Saturday to go to PHNOM PENH, CAMBODIA!! Are you kidding me?!?!...She would be there at the same time as me, and did not have a place to stay, so I am going to see if Dani will have anywhere to suggest! How fun, though! Then, I got to read a little, take a little nap, and write in the new journal I just got! It came just in time, because I had just finished my second here! Then, at 1, Ciara came for us to get lunch, we had Dolsa on the street, at one of her favorite vendors, then, grabbed some fruit and milk to go! We went back to her little hotel and sat outside in the heat and drank hot coffee while eating fruit! It was just wonderful! At 3 ,we went and had orientaion/registration.

I had originally thought I wanted to work with the kids in the orphanage, but when I was going through the descriptions of the different places, I just lit up when I came to "Kalighat" (the Home for the Destitute and Dying)! It is the original house that Mother Teresa started! It is basically a place where people go to die! Our guide, named Will Conquer, came over and asked where I wanted to go, and I told him, Kalighat! He said that is where he was volunteering and stated that it is probably the hardest house to go to, but that it was just so worth it, especially if I was only going to be there for a week. He talked about how people come, dying of diseases or malnutrition and just have such looks of distraught on their little faces, because they do not know what is going to happen to them after they die! They have NO HOPE!! Then, Will spoke of how they just seem to gain joy and peace when we get to tell them about the salvation that Jesus offers!!!! He stated it will drain you and it is stressful at times, but the reward is so FAR greater!

I CANNOT WAIT to be drained forteh glory of Jesus! THIS is why He had me wake up a while back and pray for my journey! THIS is why He got me here and did have me register yet! THIS is why I had an extra day and a half to pray and rest! He was preparing the way for me to go serve him among the dying and destitute! I know this will be challenging, I know my little heart is just going to break for these people who are suffering, but I literally get to be a light in the darkness, share the sweetness of my LORD, and bring hope to the hopeless! Eph. 6:19 is my prayer, once again, and for always!!! I am SO thankful for this opportunity to serve! Please pray for these next few days! God is going to provide more than I can imagine, I am sure!

Sorry this was so long, but once again, God is just working so clearly, daily, and I cannot help but share and give glory to His name!!! :)

In You...

I was not planning on writing a blog today, because when I got to the library earlier today, I was just so unmotivated to write for some reason...I know, must be a shocker, that I can be unmotivated to write...but it happens...I don't really know what it was...tiredness, missing people back home, worrying, I'm not sure. But, what I do know is I left the library feeling just sorta bad. I can't really describe it. So, I went back to the guesthouse and decided that I needed to pray about my attitude and this odd "gloom" that had sort of clouded over me. I knew I needed some rest, so I laid my head on my pillow, began praying to my LORD, and He just confirmed what I was doing, "Rest. I will take care of everything!" So, I turned on some Shane and Shane (to block out the construction right outside my screen window) and fell fast asleep! I had planned on calling my little friend Joel to take me shopping after he got out of schol at 4, so I set my alarm for 3:45. At 3:44, I woke up, and the words playing to one of my favorite Shane and Shanes played assuringly in my ear,

"In You
I find my rest
In You
I find my death
In You
I find my all and my emptiness
Somehow it all makes sense
In You"

Wow!! Then, the LORD said, "Get up! Pray for your journey." I'm still not exactly sure what journey He is referring to, but I got up and prayed, nonetheless. I knew that I needed to come and write in here what I was meaning to say earlier, so I headed to the library (and I also do not think I am going to go shopping today. Maybe tomorrow). I'm not sure about the internet availability in Calcutta, and I am unsure if I will be able to write tomorrow, depending on when the Community Health Team makes it back from the village, so I knew this might be my last opportunity for a while.

There was a new girl who came to BBH just yesterday. Her name is Liz, and she just finished Med School in Australia (She is from New Zealand). We had breakfast this morning togeher, and I was praying in my journal this morning for her, and I said something along the lines of, "LORD, I pray that you intertwine her path with someone here who will be able to share the gospel with her." Throughout my conversation with her this morning, I began to think that she might not know te gospel at all. But right then, as I wrote that, God said, "You. You still have 2 more days here, and I am choosing you." I was praying for SOMEONE ELSE, but I have learned that when we pray for something, God is going to answer how HE wants! I am going to have dinner with her tonight at the guest house, and I think that is when I am going to share with her. Crazy thing is, she is sitting right next to me at the computers as I type! Hahaha! For some reason, I still get nervous to share sometimes. I'm still human, you know. But, the crazy thing about that is, I SHOULD be OVERJOYED with sharing about my Jesus and what He has done for me and all of humanity! He offers SUCH a gift that I have been blessed to receive, and I should want to share it with everyone I meet!! So, I think more than anything, I worry about how I will bring it up, but I know that God has very easily provided a way for me in the past, He provided a way for me to get to INDIA, so He is MORE than capable to do this! The main reason I share this with y'all now, too, is for accountability. So, be praying for my conversation with her tonight (dinner is at 6, which is 7:30AM Texas time), but if you are not awake, pray that God continues to work and move in her heart! :)

Also, I just received an email back from Kativa (the woman I met on the plane from Frankfurt to Bangalore), and she wanted me to come visit her on Weds, but that is when I leave for Calcutta, so I just told her that I was leaving that day, but I am hoping that our paths cross some other time in the future and hoped to stay in contact with her! So, you can be praying for her too!!

Thank you all for praying! I am hoping to be able to find someway to write in Calcutta, but if not, then I will just journal really well, and then update when I get to Cambodia!

Forgetfulness of God's Faithfulness can lead to disobedience

The title of this blog was the title of the sermon I received this morning from the Pastor. It was EXACTLY what God had intended for my heart to hear. I just got to talk for but a moment with Steven this morning, and it was SO wonderful, but still SO difficult to hear his voice, and not get to be near him. After talking though, I had one of the best times with Jesus I have had yet, here in Bangalore. I don't know truly what it is, but everytime I get excited about going home to see him, God says to me, "Surrender him to me. Surrender all." It is just so difficult everytime! I think it is because when I am so focused on home, and the possibilities I have there, I am not able to fully commit myself to the work I have before me.

God prepared me before I left for India to die...Now, that might sound morbid, but only He truly knows what is ahead, and I think He was saying to me, "If you are going to be able to handle and walk in obedience to all I have called you to on this mission, you are going to have to be SO surrendered to Me that you would be willing to die for My name." I don't know truly if He is speaking of dying physically. I have had to surrender all claims to my life here on earth to Him, but I think He is more so talking about DYING TO MYSELF.

After talking to Steven this morning, though, I began thinking, "What if I really did never set foot back in the States, because God called me home before then?" Then, my heart turned to Steven and my family. I prayed that if God would call me to such a task that He would have to PROMISE to take care of them all!!...Then, I knew instantly the voice of my sweet Savior when He said to me in that moment of grief, "Do you not remember all the times I have proved faithful in your life so far?!? Do you not think that I would be able to comfort them and take care of them? Don't you know that if I was taking you home, it would only be at the time when it would create most glory for Me?!?" iam brought to one of my favorite Psalms...It is when David is struggling with sorrow in his heart, but then at the end of it he states with certainty, "But I trust in Your unfailing love; my heart rejoiuces in Your salvation. I will sing to the LORD, for He has ben good to me." Psalm 13:5-6 So, once again, I cried out to Him, saying that I surrendered all, knowing that He is better than any such person or anything that He has blessedly ALLOWED in my life. These things that He has given me, are "on loan to me", like my mom says, to bring Him glory! My enjoyment and cherishment (I think I made that word up) of them can most CERTAINLY bring Him glory, but only when they are in their proper place, submitted to the Father!...

Wow,....talk about heavy stuff!!!...I hope this does not bring any discouragement to anyone, because more than anything, I want it to be an encouragement that Jesus is more than enough!! He is literally stripping me of EVERYTHING while I am here! Not physically, because these wonderful people are still in my life (THANK THE LORD), but He is bringing me to the place, where I know that He is better, He is worth living for, dying for, better than my words can even describe!! My prayer is that God will strip all of you in the same way, even if you ARE in America!

So, going to church this morning and hearing about how forgetfulness of God's faithfulness can lead to disobedience was just another reminder not to forget. The reading was out of Deut. 8, and oh what a blessing it was to hear of the LORD's faithfulness, and hear Him speaking over me, "I have been faithful, and will always be! Trust Me! I have gone before you, I WILL lead and guide you!"

Then, after church, I ended up meeting a wonderful woman who might be able to help me advance my career!! She was a nurse and talked to me about working and her journey to Bangalore when she was only a nursing student. She is so wise, and just a light to be around. I had met her kids the Sunday before. Then, they invited me to go to lunch with them, and our conversation about life and nursing only continued! I think her son is going to take me to the shops tomorrow (He's 10, so you don't have to worry about him trying to steal my heart, Steven! :) )! I am SO excited!! God says He will provide, and He does!! What a glorious God we serve! I know I keep saying that over and over, but the angels in Heaven, who are seeing God face to face keep saying over and over "Holy Holy Holy is the LORD God Almighty..." and that never gets old, so I don't think our praise of Him ever could get old either!...

I pray, church, that we NEVER forget the faithfulness of God, but rather it would SPUR us on to love and good deeds!

Prayer-FULL days...

After my shift on Thursday, I just heard the LORD saying to me, "Come spend time with me". I still had a little over two hours until my dinner was going to be ready, and it was such a beautiful day, so I decided to go get my journal and my Bible, and go sit on the swings in the little kid playground. I love to swing! Obviously, I am still a little kid at heart! I was the only one there, so I just swang and watched. Just like my mom, I am SUCH a people watcher! I prayed for people as they walked by, and I was just relaxing, talking to God. I think He knew that I was needing some time to just sit back and be filled up again! After swinging for a while, I decided sitting on the ant-infested benches would not be the best idea, so I got up and walked around the grounds of the hospital. I ran into Jincy (the nurse I had followed one day in the Private Ward) and Mark (my driver from the airport to the guest House). He told me he was looking forward to our drive together on Weds., since he is going to be the one to take me to the airport! After walking a while, I sat down at an empty table at the canteen (a place where staff and families can come and eat). I just read some Psalms and wrote in my journal, then headed back to my guest house, being refreshed by some much needed time with the LORD.

Yesterday (Friday...it is getting harder and harder to keep track of days here!), I was supposed to start prayer rounds with Ating, one of the pastoral care members, at 9, but they ended up having to sit in on a presentation, so I went back to the library until 10:00. I met her at the chapel, we got our tracks, prayed for our day, and then headed out. We went all over the hospital, because apparently, she had certain assigned patients. We started off in the Dialysis unit with a man named something I could not pronounce. He got a laugh out of my attempts, but realized I couldn't say it right, so he let me call him Armin for short. After hearing that he had been on dialysis for 1 yr. 3 mos, and that he had two sons, Ating said to me, "Okay, you pray for him." Then, bowed her head. She had me pray for the next patient too, and THEN she looked at me and said, "It's okay that I'm asking you to pray, right?" I just laughed and told her of course. The next patient we visited awas a young girl named Rajma. She had been hit by a car, and a patient I had seen sparingly on the first day I was in the private ward, so she and her family recognized me (Also I forget, it doesn't take much to recognize me here, even if you have only seen me once! Haha!). Ating asked her about her relationship with God and she said she prayed and went to church. I have found that the majority of people I have talked to in India are Catholic and very "spiritual". They go to church and pray a lot, but it is so sad to see in their hearts that they have no idea WHO it is they are truly praying to. It is an empty religious life they are leading. The tracks that Ating had given me were not even about the gospel. They were about seeking God when you are sick, but I luckily had some left from contacts with Cru in my purse, so I decided to give her one to read after we had prayed for her. The next few patients were the same, Catholic, but no true relationship with God.

The next room we hit was that of the sweet family I had been able to pray for in the PICU (Jikku, Gladia, Gladvin, and Jose). They were delighted to see me, because they had just been told that there was an infection in Gladia's blood, so they would have to stay a little longer until they found out what it was and how to treat it! I was so sad to hear that, but I was able to offer encouragement and pray for them once more. Afterward, Jose said to me, "You and your prayers are like a river of life. You are going to be such a sweet blessing to your husband one day!" I thought that was so sweet, so I thanked him, but reminded him, that I am just a vessel, through whom Jesus lets flow His living water. They have been so kind to me, though! I just pray they get to go home soon!

Next, we went to the endoscopy/scanning waiting room and sat by a woman named Jiffee. She said she was there because she had found a clavicular node about 5 years ago, but never had it checked out, because it had not given her problems. But, just recently it started to pain her, so she decided to get it checked out. She asked me why I was there (like all of the patients had! :)), and I told her a little about me, but then she was called back for her scan. At this point, Ating and I got to talk a little. She got a little giddy at one point, just wanting to know about me and my family. I thought it was sweet that so quickly a friendship was growing between us. I told her about me, then got to hear a little about her. She is 26 and has 5 siblings. Her family lives in NE India, where she is from, and she has not seen them in 1 1/2 YEARS!! She said it was because it took her 4-5 DAYS on the train to get to her city, and then a WHOLE NIGHT on a bus to get to her house. She could not afford plane trips. I was utterly shocked. People in America complain about having to drive for 10 hours to get home, but they don't have to be on a hot dirty train for 4-5 days, and THEN take a bus to get home! The more I visit other countries, the more I realize how vain our complaining is. We have no idea how good we have it in America, sometimes. I then got to tell her all about my boyfriend, Steven, and encourage her that waiting is worth it! She was very thankful for my the short version of our story that I shared, and said it was good to be reminded that God is in control!

Jiffee, then came out again, and started to ask more about us. Then, I got to the point where I asked her about what she thought of God. She told me that she was not like many other people. She did not go to church, but she believes in God and knows that He is the One who has been getting her through her hard times in life. It was difficult to gauge with this short conversation her true beliefs, because she was kinda all over the place, but still, a very confident person when she speaks. She mentioned something about Campus Crusade in Bangalore, though, and I got really excited. I pulled out the last track I had(I thought. I found another this morning)and gave it to her, saying I had gotten it from Cru. She had to leave, but before she did, we prayed for her.

We ended up getting to pray for about 6 other patients, and then we called it a day. Ating and I talked a little longer and exchanged emails. I made sure that she knew I was going to be in the PICU and that she could come and say hi, whenever, and I would try and drop by the chapel too. She looked so sad to part ways. So, I asked if I could pray for her, before I left, and she was very thankful.

Today (Saturday), I was in the PICU again, and not too much happend, I am asserting myself in confidence more, though, and the nurses are becoming more comfortable in me helping out. I did catch a glimpse of some miscommunication between staff (and how it was affecting, very much, the health of a child)and a lack of professionalism in dealing with the matter. It was a little difficult to watch, but it is one more thing I am taking notes on that need to be taught when starting such a facility.

So much keeps happening here, and I know that God is not through using me yet, here in Bangalore, because I AM STILL HERE for 3 more days! Please pray for perseverance and strength, and PLEASE keep Gladia and her family in your prayers!

No more "normal" life...

It's sad how some people think that miracles only happen when they are in a third world country, but then they are returning to "normal" life when they get home. Maybe I'm the only one who has ever had this thought, so maybe I'm only speaking to myself. If I am just bear with me....I hope I never have a "normal" life again. Miracles are all around us. I just think we need to pray to have our eyes open to see them, to stop focusing on our needs and look to the needs of others, ABOVE our own. The beauty of a miracle is not what people see on the outside, it is the change that happens on the inside. I don't think that Jesus healed the blind, deaf, lame and sick, so that they could go around saying, "Yes! I can see/hear/walk/be healthy again". I think Jesus was changing something on the inside, making Himself known as the One to give what He knew they needed. Time and time again Jesus asked them if they had faith, or talked about how their sins were forgiven. The physical miracle they received was more of just a symbol, something they can look back to, to remember thier faith, or that their sins had been forgiven. Every memory we have has a physical reminder of some sort, so when we are talking about what God did, or even just how we felt in that moment, there is something there we recall in our minds. This might not even make sense to anyone else...maybe I just needed to write this to think it through...and maybe even some of it is wrong, but it is just what was on my head the way over to the library.

The reason it was on my head, though, was because I am experiencing this right now! Yesterday morning, I came to the library to write emails and my blog early, because apparently that's when the internet works best. I felt sorta bad that I was going to show up to the PICU late, but I just knew this would be the only time to blog. After finishing at the library, I went to the entrance of the hospital, but was still responding to a text I had received from Steven, so I sat down on a chair, I thouhgt random, but God knew that I was sitting there for a reason. About mid-way through the text, a woman from the pastoral care team came up to me, because she had recognized me from the PICU when she was praying over the patients. Her name is Athine. I really had no idea why she was wanting to just sit and talk to me, because she didn't really even seem to have anything to say, other than "What is your name?" But, I asked her about how it was, praying for Hindu patients, as in, were they receptive to prayer? She said yes, that for the most part, every person she has asked to pray for, Christian or not, have been very receptive, but some say no. I was SO excited to hear that, and since I have no formal schedule here, I just asked her if I could go around with her the next day and pray with the patients. She sounded delighted to have me go with her! I am SUPER excited about today!!! Then, as if that wasn't enough excitement, another woman came and approached me.

I think I have failed to mention this story, but now, it is the perfect time to tell it. While I was in the PICU on Tuesday, I was just watching all the children, observing, reading charts. Well, there was a little one, only 29 days old in bed 5. Her name, I came to find out, was Gladia. She was SOOOO precious! She had come in with possible convulsions and a respiratory infection. At one point in the day, she was crying, so I went over to try and console her, but the nursing student quickly came and picked her up. After that, I knew that we were allowed to pick her up, so I was determined the next time she cried to go and pick her up, because all I wanted to do was hold her! Well, about 30 minutes later, she started to cry again, so I got up, washed my hands, and picked her up! She was such a tiny blessing in my life. Her little features were so soft and beautiful. She fell fast asleep in my arms, as I rocked her back and forth (not shake, like some of the nurses do here. I think it is a cultural thing, Idk) and hummed lullabyes to her. I just wanted to hold her forever, but they had called her mom(Jikku), so when I saw her walk through the door, I placed Gladia back on the bed, and her mom came and stood beside her. I went and sat down, but then watched as her mother was almost in tears, just worn out, and God said, "Go talk to her". I went over and told her that her little girl was so precious and beautiful. She responded with, "Thank you, I just wish she was okay." From there, she felt comfortable enough with me to tell me how she has just been in and out of the hospital, with Gladia, who had bilirubin problems when she was born, then, she, herself, had come to get a cyst removed from her arm, then her little boy, Gladvin got sick, and now this...She also just briefly mentioned, "We are trying to remember that God is there to help us." So, right then, I said, "Can I pray for you?" She said that would be nice, so I just said a little prayer. It was just the cry of my heart for this little one and her family, nothing special in my mind. But, I had no idea how God had planned to work! When I opened my eyes she was crying. I went over and gave her a big hug, forgetting that in their culture, they don't really hug at all, but she was receptive. At this point, it was my time to go, so I headed out....

Now back to yesterday morning. As I was just overjoyed with getting to opportunity to pray with people around the hospital the next day, Jikku and her little son, Gladvin approached me. I quickly remembered her. She began telling me how they had gotten to move out of the PICU to the Pedi ward. Then, she just said how much my prayer meant to her, because I didn't know it, but she was at the breaking point. She said she was depressed and in a pit, but that prayer was like an annointing from God, because it gave her the strength to keep going. Her little son had just been discharged that day too. She also commented on how her husband was really depressed too, but when she got to talk to him, she realized that God had sent me to pray for her, so that she could then uplift him. WOW....amazed, I sat there...not at my simple obedience to pray, but at the complexity of how God works. He knows His children so intimately, and knew that a silly little girl like me could be used for HIS glory! She then wanted me to follow her to go see the baby. I walked in the room and she was looking SOOO much better. Jikku told me that when she had gotten to the hospital, she had not been breathing for 5 minutes and was completely blue(that means brain damage, in my head), but then when she entered the hospital, God began giving Gladia breath. Her husband(Jose) came in, and Jikku said that I was the one who had prayed for Galdia. He was so excited to meet me. Then, she told me that people had prayed for her and Gladia a lot, during her stay in the hospital, but there was something about my words that was different. It was the confidence and faith that I had when I said what I did. The other people had always just prayed, "LORD, heal this baby", but she said that I said with confidence, "LORD, I know you are holding this baby and this family, and You are Sovereign and in control". I was only speakinbg from experience! Just knowing that He was holding me, and knowing His loving nature. She gave the credit where it was COMPLETELY due, though, by saying it must not have been me talking, but God speaking through me, because it was EXACTLY what she needed to hear! All praise and Glory to the One Who sees all, knows all, and can comfort like no human can! So, anyways, we talked for a little bit longer about me being here, then I had to head to the PICU, but I was able to pray once again for this sweet family!!!

After lunch, I went back to get a picture, and she was so glad that I did, because she wanted to get my email to give me updates on Gladia and her family! What a joy and blessing to be a part of the Mighty hand of God working!!! I still sit here in awe of my Savior!!

Like I said, miracles are happening all the time, but we just have to open our eyes to see them. It does not take us being in a third world country to pray for a mother you see in distress at WalMart, or just to talk to someone standing in line next to you at the bank. Now, you might not as easily see them again (unless you live in Midland or Lubbock...hahaha!), but we should just be open to listen for the LORD to give direction. For His Name's sake, He will lead and guide us (Ps. 31:3)! It was no BIG feat for me to go and pray. From the outside, that might look very small, since I have been praying for people a lot this trip, but God knew the miracle He was setting up, and I know He is the same in America as He is here in India.

I could go on and on about the rest of our conversation after my morning shift, but this has been long enough, so I will write more of the story in my next blog! I gotta go do some praying!!!! :)

Familiarity and Confidence Gained...

I have been placed in the PICU the past two days, and I am beggining to realize what a blessing this type of familiarity has given me! Like I said, in one of my earlier blogs, it was hard for me in the beginning to just sit back and observe, because the Indian nurses were always so concerned with my comfort. But, in this somewhat familiar environment, I am gaining the confidence needed to actually start DOING more, to help out where needed! I have also realized that if I just do, instead of ask, they are fine with it! They are even starting to ask me more questions about how we do things back in the states, so I have been able to share some of my techniques!

First of all, when I showed up at the PICU on Tues, all of the babies were new, except Spoorthy, but she was looking a lot better, that's for sure! And, only about an hour into the shift, she got the orders from the Dr. to go to the PEDI FLOOR!!! I was SO overjoyed, and when she got the news, I saw for the first time, those precious cracked lips form a sweet smile! Her mom was happy too! BEST NEWS EVER!!!

One of the new babies there was named Vinay! He was a 3 y.o. who had inhaled some lysol. It also got into his eye, giving him an eye infection! He was a sad little case, because there was this look of complete despair on his face the whole time! He kept saying, "Kara", which me "take off or remove" (b/c he didn't like the tubes in him) and "Amah", which means "mother" over and over and over. He was so restless, and his breathing had SUCH audible crackles (which means fluid and inflammation in his lungs). At one point, the doctor was talking to his dad and his grandparents about how they were doing everything they could, but there really was nothing more they could do for now. They just had to watch and wait! In my head, that was so wrong! There had to be something they could do! The family was getting upset and telling the Dr. that they wanted to take him to another hospital, but the DR. assured them they would say the same thig! I was thinking suction, or Chest Physiotherapy, but they don't have suction here, and she didn't know if CPT would cause more inflammation. I did, later on that day, adjust his pillow so that he would be lying more upright to help him breathe better. I also found out later that the only reason his mother had not come to see him was because she, herself, was in the hospital with a lower respiratory tract infection. Can you imagine, your baby being sick, and you, yourself, have to be sitting in a hospital bed away from him! On Weds, though, he was sounding a little better, and I found out his mom had come to visit him some! He is so calm when she is around, but all he wants to do is be held by her, and she was so weak that it took everything in her to hold him for a couple minutes! After lunch on Weds, I had not planned to go back, but God kept telling me I needed to! He told me, "Trust Me! I will make it worth your while!" So, I went! When I got there Vinay was standing up on his bed crying for his mother, and so I went over there, and he practically leaped into my arms! So, I held him for about 20 minutes, trying to console him until his mother got there, and patting his back (to help get some secretions up) and humming, which made him seem to calm down more. He liked to look outside too, and me, being among the tallest people in India, was able to lift him high enough to look out! Then, his mother got there, and so I handed him over, and she said thank you, with such gratitude in her eyes, even though the pain was still evident! I thought to myself, if that was all I was needed for, thank you, LORD for making me come! It was only 3:00 at that time (which is when I normally leave, but God for some reason was telling me I needed to stay until at least 3:30). I just sat down to watch and pray. About 10 minutes later, a new baby was brought in (making it 6 in this ICU, with only ONE NURSE). The nurse started an IV on the baby, and then laid him back down. He was probably only 2 months old. His oxygen reading started to drop, because he just kept crying, so I went over and just lifted him up. His saturation level went back up, which is good, but he was still crying, so I picked him up to rock him a little. He was still crying and the nurse said, "He's fine you can put him down. He'll stop crying." I felt bad just putting him down, so I sat him in his little bed, and began patting his back. He just needed to be burped! After that, he stopped crying! I have watched after mother's feed their babies here. They just rub their back instead of burping them, so that's all he needed. I laid him back down and he fell asleep. Once again, though, his saturation level started to drop, so I lifted him up again until his mother came to hold him. I explained to her about the oxygen levels and how sometimes they just need to be sitting upright (especially, because this baby has a respiratory infection, he would probably be spitting up a lot, and needed to be sitting up, so he wouldn't choke!) After all of this, I was able to leave, and all I could say to God was, "Thank you for choosing to faithfully love your children, even if it is through unwillingly obedient people like me"!

I have one more story. Mid day, a new baby came in. He was a 5 month old little chunk. He needed an IV to be started, so the nurse went over, and I got to be the one to take his attention off of being poked, so I played with his belly, and talked to him in words, I'm sure he didn't understand, but he was laughing and would NOT take his eyes off of me (probably because he had never seen someone with sich light skin or eyes). But, the same nurse kept trying and trying to get an IV started, and because he was a little chunkier, it was difficult for her to get a vein. The mother finally came in and saw him crying, so she told them to stop. She did not speak Kannada (the nurses' native language) or English, so they were truly unable to communicate with her. So, they stopped, and sent for someone to try and tell her the necessity of the IV. I had also decided in my mind that if they were going to try again, that I was going to ask if I could do it, because I couldn't stand seeing him be stuck any more times! We left the mother with her baby, and I looked in the charts to see what the religion of this woman was. She was Hindu. So, I began praying over her! I also sat back and watched the other parents in the PICU try and explain to her why she needed an IV in the baby, showing her thier kids, and finally one of them was able to get through to her. The nurses didn't try again though, until the DR. came and talked to her. I walked over at one point and just played with the little baby again, and made him smile! This made his mother smile, and I was able to pat her back while she cried! I cannot imagaine being in a new place, where your baby is sick, people are poking him and making him cry, and you cannot understand anything they are saying to you...and on top of that, not knowing the GOD you can trust in!!

All in all, I have thouroughly enjoyed my time in the PICU and that is where I am headed right now! I'm glad I was able to tell all my stories! Praise be to God who gives me strength beyond strength, who provides overflowing, making me more desperate for Him! Until next time....please be praying for all these sweet babies and their families! :)