Swords and Sweet Serenity

As each new day arrives, God opens my eyes a little more to why I am here, and the plans He has for me in the future! Getting to talk to Steven on the phone yesterday for even the little time we did was more of a blessing than I could have ever asked the LORD for! I told my roommate about the conversation at breakfast, and she commented, "Oh, well, that describes the glow about you!"(in her brilliant Scottish accent!)! I could NOT stop smiling. When, I reached the nurses station, I found out I was only to work a half day, because it was a Saturday. I was placed in the Peciatric ICU. I was excited to see yet another area of the hospital, and once again with little babies! I arrived in my natural state of joy, but that is when all of the conflicting emotions set it. My joy in Christ was not to be shaken, but my heart began to ache more than it has on this whole trip so far. It took everything in me to hold back from tears. There was only enough room in the ICU for 5 babies/children. One of the babies had breathing difficulties/pneumonia, two were suffereing from Dengae Fever, and two from convulsions/seizures. I had never seen such a bad case of Dengae before, but apparently it is very common here. After being intorduced to the children, I began looking around at all the the supplies, the crash cart, and the intubation and ventilatioin kits....it was all so old and the medications were scare. From then on, I was able to read some charts and some information books on Dengae Fever, the whole time observing the children and their situations. All I could think of is how easy it is for us Americans to bask in our comfortable lives and not even think twice, if even ONCE, about the conditions others across the world have to live in. What are we doing wrong as a church? Why are we not more mobilized?

One of the sweet babies with convulsions woke up and started crying for his mommy. When she got there, his tears immediately stopped, as he found so much securtiy in her presence. His name is Ayaan, a 2 year old little blessing. He made me laugh on multiple occassions, whether it was from his little dance after getting a drink of water, his infatuation with the baby in the bed next to him, or sticking his tingue out at me and then giggling when I did it back. Once again, God creating good from a situation where it seems there is none. On the other hand, there was another child who never cracked a smile. Her name was Spoorthy, a 4 y.o. girl who was deaf and had 2nd degree Dengae Fever. She was getting a blood transfusion, because she was practically bleeding out. I watched as her hopeless mother sat next to her bed, doing all she could to try and make her little baby comfortable, yet there was no joy to be seen on her face either. It was easy to see she had been there a while, and not resting as she should have been. I couldn't help but pray for God to meet here in her deepest need to and to heal her child. However, there was one joyous moment with Spoorthy! I noticed a little angel doll sitting on the cabinet next to her, so I got up, and asked if she wanted it, by just showing it to her. She reached as far out as she could, and then grabbed it and tucked it close into her arms. There wasn't a smile on her face, but that could have been because her lips were so cracked and sore that smiling would have only caused her pain. There was a smile in her heart though, because then she quickly fell asleep. So, like I said such conflicting emotions, joy with Steven and I, joy with little Ayaan, and sorrow for the innocent ones being stuck in a hospital bed that would have been easily thrown out by any American hospital. I prayed that God would let me see the good in all of it, and once again, He came through!

Sidenote, after seeing how each of these precious mothers interracted with their sweet babies, it made me SUPER excited for all the preggos that I know to have their babies, because I CANNOT WAIT to get to play with them....and for one day to be a mother myself! :)

As I mentioned in the beginning, I am learning more why I am here as time goes on. Well, most everyone knows that I am wanting to start medical clinics in Africa one day. Well, I am starting to think that a hospital might be a better place to start. I also received an email from a friend I have yet to meet, and he was telling me about some people he knows wanting to build a hospital in Ethiopia. This got me thinking. The hospital I am in right now started from the ground up by the dream of one woman, a surgeon named Rebekah Naylor, who I am actually going to be able to meet, the day before I leave! I am reading her biography right now, and it tells of how she went through all the harship to get this hospital to where it is now! I think I have a lot to learn from her, and I hoping to be able to stay in contact with her. Also, I was sitting in the PICU, I had some downtime to think about all the many details that go into starting a hospital, all the resources and man power you would need. I am sure I would be amazed to see where the hospital is now from where it started. So, I am glad to have seen firsthand, how difficult this feat is going to be, but also encouraged to know that it can be done! I am taking lots of notes, Jae! :)

Last night was another tough night of thick spiritual warfare! It is obvious that the enemy does not like what is going on here, but I am praying against it, and to continually be clothed with the armor of God, with prayer, and the Word as my sword! Fighting the battle with any other earthly materials would only render this battle a loss. With Christ alone do I gain victory, for He has already won! My beloved Jesus was so sweet to speak truth over me all night, though, until I fell asleep! What a glorious and compassionate God we serve!

So, as to not make this post much longer, I just wanted to add that it is Indian Independence Day today so, I was able to attend the flag raising outside the hospital. Then, I had chapel and met some more Americans who I might be able to go through the town with. I need to get an authentic Indian outfit to wear to chapel next time, because I want them to try and start seeing me as one of them, not a "famous American". Also, before the service, Pastor Benny asked me to go to lunch with him and his wife, Carolyn! They are such a sweet couple, and they took me to a place downtown called "The Only Place", because it used to be the only place in India where you could get beef! Haha! There I was, having a burger in the middle of India! Who would have guessed?!?!...I have also emailed Kativa to see if I am going to be able to visit her soon! I have not heard back yet, but I am still praying that that all works out! :)

Keep praying for me. Specifically, you can be praying Eph. 6:19, "Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the the mystery of the gospel."